Student of The Game

The Couch Critic - Wild Card Sunday

2006-01-09T08:36:00.000-05:00

First post of the year, so I'm bringing back the only running thing I've done so far: The Couch Critic, This Time it Counts Edition. You know the drill: first post below, click here to waste more time. This post, for those who care, marks my return to semi-regular posting; full-time posting will return later this month.

12:55 – Back, by not so popular demand, is another version of The Couch Critic, Playoff Edition. For the first time ever, the Student Lounge is not the hosting the event; I accepted an invitation to watch at the House of Flash. Needless to say, whether I ever watch another Giants game in this apartment depends on the outcome of this game.

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12:57 – In attendance: Flash, Lil’ Flash, and myself. Jersey scorecard: Flash and I are both wearing Shockeys #80, Lil’ Flash is wearing a fading Barber #21. I’m the only one with a cap. It’s all about the details, people.

1:00 – Flash quickly (in a flash, if you will – eh, you probably won’t) changes the channel in time to catch the A-Team theme just starting on TVLand. Great start to the day.

1:05 – Buck and Aikman, obviously. No problem there. Flash points out that since FOX is going with an extra sideline reporter for today’s game (Chris Myers), and they put their regular one (Pam Oliver) on the Giants’ sideline, FOX is clearly showing respect to Big Blue. Hard to argue that.

1:10 – Carolina gets it first. One good run, one good pass, one first down, nothing more, thanks to some false starts and the beast that is Umeniyora. No need to block him or anything; he only had 14.5 sacks this year. Giants ball. Crowd into it. Good start, at least on one side of the ball.

1:12 – I didn’t mention my picks yet. I’m staying away from the Giant game, period. It’s one thing to throw out a pick for a regular season game; I’m not bold enough to do it in the playoffs. You see, I want to be rooting for the Giants 100%, with no “well, if they lose, at least I picked the game right” fallback. Unfortunately, I already have one of those today: well, at least if they lose, U-Boat wasted 100 bucks. For those of you who don’t know, U-Boat is the kind of guy who, when he gets tickets to a game like this, makes you hate him and subconsciously want your team to lose. Hard to explain unless you have a similar friend. Oh, Cincinnati +3, and to win outright.

1:18 – Giants pretty much mirror the Panthers’ first series, punting after one first down. Tyree almost pinned it at the 1, though.

1:20 – Flash on Griesen: “He looks dead.” Aikman: “The Giants can’t afford to lose a linebacker right now.” Thank you, Captain Obvious.

1:25 – Two shocking things just took place: 1) The Panthers picked up a 3rd-down blitz, and somehow Delhomme didn’t find a wide-open Steve Smith, and 2) Chad Morton didn’t call for a fair catch inside the 10. Other than Griesen going down, defense has held up well enough.

1:31 – Prevailing thought so far: we’re straddling the line between a good defensive game and a crappy offensive performance. Next series for each team should be a good indicator of which one this is.

1:37 – Scoreless 1st quarter comes to a close. DeShaun Foster seems like he’s gonna break one sooner than later. Giants offense has clearly been sluggish, but they can ignite instantly.

1:45 – Scoreless no more. Linebackers, or what’s left of them, can’t make any tackles, and Delhomme hits Smith for 22 yards and 6 points. And Steve Smith unveils his playoff end-zone celebration, the snow angel. Except there’s no snow. Genius, that guy. No, I’m not bitter. It should also be noted that the Panthers scoring drive began as soon as Flash’s brother-in-law arrived to watch the game. I’m a guest here, so I can’t throw him out. Too bad.

1:57 – Offense still not doing much, and he non-call when Shockey got taken down didn’t help. Trying to be objective, I’ll concede that you could get away with not calling that. Punt down to the 7. Not uncharacteristically, Jeff Feagles is keeping the Giants in this game.

2:05 – 3rd down has become automatic for Carolina – 5 straight conversions, including the last one on 3rd and 12 whose spot could’ve been challenged and overturned. Important to hold on to those first-half timeouts, Tom – with 2 minutes left, you never know when you might need one. This drive started at the 7, it’s now at midfield.

2:14 – Son of a diddly. Giants finally get a stop on defense, getting the ball back, and the freaking punt is so bad it hits a Giant in the leg, Carolina recovers in field goal range. It’s turning into That Kind of Game.

2:18 – Defense wakes up a little, holds Carolina to three. Of all the knees on the team that have been destroyed this year, Gibril Wilson’s stays healthy enough to give three points away. Awesome.

2:20 – Halftime. 10-0. Pizza’s here, so things could only get better. Consensus in the room: it could be a lot worse than 10-0 right now, so we’ll take it.

2:40 – So apparently L.T. was on the field at halftime. Not sure why, but FOX showed a clip of him walking off the field waving. And it got me thinking: if L.T. suited up and played today, would the linebacking corps be better off? Probably not, but you’d seriously consider it, no?

2:42 – I wanted 7 on the opening drive but would’ve settled for 3. We got nothing. And a mediocre punt to boot. Not an inspiring start to the 2nd half. Maybe the defense will show us something here. Not counting on it.

2:49 – At least the D-line came to play today. Strahan gets his second sack, saving 3 points. And now for a quick word about Chad Morton. I don’t think I’d be a better returner than Chad Morton, but I definitely think I’d be a smarter one. For one thing, he’s the only return guy in the league who routinely fair catches inside the 10. On top of that, the 2nd half kickoff was going out of bounds until Morton decided to field it and run it. And he just topped it off with his trademark move: fielding a bouncing punt with a defender ready to pounce on him. Remarkably, he doesn’t fumble. But I maintain I’m a smarter returner.

2:55 – At last, the turn of events that was inevitable: Manning throws a horrible INT, followed by a Steve Smith end-around. 17-0.

3:02 – Giants drive comes to another screeching halt with another interception. Flash: “Who cares, they were gonna punt to around there anyway.” I guess so, but still.

3:06 – 31-yard run for Foster, breaking approximately 67 tackles along the way. Hate to say it, but it couldn’t be clearer: Game. Over.

3:28 – What more is there to write? Eli is being Eli, Steve Smith is being Steve Smith, and this game has been an out-and-out disaster. The thing that annoyed me the most, though, was when the Giants finally converted a 3rd down and the crowd gave an obvious sarcastic cheer, and Aikman, devoid of sarcasm, pointed out the fans are finally seeing something they like. Buck was probably too bored to correct him.

3:35 – 23-0. Alright, I’ll say it: at least U-Boat wasted 100 bucks and I didn’t waste 150. Seriously, is a friend really a friend if he has extra tickets to a playoff game but only will sell them to you for a 50% markup?

3:42 – Two cracks elicit hollow laughter: 1) after I comment what an insult this game was to the late owners, Hearsay (a late addition to the party) remarks, “They needed Mara or Tisch to die this week.” 2) I mention I can’t wait to see the over/under number for next week’s Panthers/Bears game.

3:45 – That sucked. It was one of those games where the defeat was a slow buildup, as opposed to the punch in the gut that was 39-38 in San Fran three seasons ago. Still didn’t even sink in yet. I’ll post final Giants thoughts later on, back in the Student Lounge, when I’m too annoyed to write anything about Steelers/Bengals.

4:45 – Decompressed a little, throwing myself into Cincy/Pittsburgh. Should be entertaining. So far the Steelers had the ball once and punted. One thing I learned on that drive: these teams clearly don’t like each other. Makes for good football TV.

4:46 – Carson Palmer led the NFL in TD passes this year. I did not know that. That’s one of Carson’s old lines. I did know that. I need to stop this immediately.

4:47 – Woah, a lot just happened here. Palmer hit Chris Henry for 66 yards, as Jim Nantz called him “Johnson,” and as Carson Palmer goes down hard after completing his first career playoff pass. Jon Kitna warming up. This game just got more interesting for all the wrong reasons.

4:50 – Can’t pronounce or write the name of the guy who “got blocked into” Carson Palmer. Too lazy to look it up. Phil Simms is quickly looking at the media guide for some words on Jon Kitna, and is having trouble doing so.

4:51 – Simms recovers, points out that he was a starter as recently as 2003, played last week, and gets an unusual amount of reps for a backup every Friday. That’s more like it, Phil. Meantime, it’s first and goal.

4:53 – Forget “don’t like each other.” These teams hate each other.

4:55 – Now Chris Henry is lying on the ground, pounding his fists into the grass. Costly opening drive, though they do go up 3-0.

5:05 – Steelers looking to challenge the Giants’ false start record, set in Seattle a month ago. 3 so far in their first 7 plays. Note to New York Giants: watch this game, watch Cincy, learn how to tackle.

5:11 – Great sequence. Kitna scampers 10 yards for a first down, crowd loving it. Simms: “I said he is tough, but he’s gotta know, too, that Craig Krenzel’s behind you, Jon, so the team wants you to say healthy. [long pause, realizing he just torched the 3rd-stringer…] I’m not saying that Craig Krenzel can’t do it…”

5:13 – Kitna leads a fantastic drive, capped off by a great Rudi Johnson run for the first Bengals’ playoff TD in 15 years. Such a cliché, I know, but Cincy is playing inspired football.

5:23 – Injury update (Bonne Bernstein’s earning her paycheck today): Palmer’s getting an MRI right now, Chris Henry is done, Quincy Morgan is probably done too. Welcome back to the playoffs, Cincy!

5:25 – After getting great field position to start their third drive, Pittsburgh moves down the field with relative ease. 10-7.

5:37 – Great moment for Steeler-haters right there. Troy Polamalu almost picks off Kitna, pushing ensues, then Polamalu goes for one last shove, ball in hand, called for a penalty which takes away a 4th down FG attempt, and instead makes it 1st and goal. Great stuff.

5:41 – Another would-be 4th down taken care of by another Steeler penalty. Illegal contact, 1st down. Greater stuff.

5:43 – Kitna to Houshmandzadeh, 17-7. You just can’t give a team 3 chances like that. Oh, and you can’t leave a guy that open in the end zone, either. Polamalu’s fault, natch.

5:51 – Big Ben answering the Bengals. 54-yard pass, 15-yard pass, 1st and goal. Bettis bobbles what would’ve been a TD pass (from him, not to him), but Roethlisberger to Ward on 3rd down gets it done. 17-14.

6:02 – Bengals finally punt. Just over a minute to go. Wow, close game, points scored on both ends, defenses making plays. Would it have been so hard to have seen this at 1:00?

6:10 – Halftime. Greg Gumbel, pretending he’s a real reporter: “Sources close to injured quarterback Carson Palmer tell The NFL Today that Carson Palmer says that he suffered a couple of torn ligaments in his left knee, and the MRI is being taken to confirm that diagnosis.” Bottom line: Kitna’s team for the foreseeable future.

6:35 – Interesting opening 5:09 of the 2nd half. Bengals try a reverse on the kickoff to no avail. Chad Johnson catches, then fumbles, then challenged and ruled incomplete. Then Carson Palmer news comes in, and the word “July” is mentioned. Finally, a botched long snap on a FG attempt, as Giants fans watching (few and far between, I’m guessing) recoil in flashback horror.

6:44 – It’s weird. The Steelers, since ending their first two drives with punts, seem to be moving the ball down the field at will, yet it doesn’t feel like the Cincy defense is playing poorly. Maybe both can be true. Anyway, the pass interference in the end zone certainly helps, and having Jerome Bettis does too. 21-17, Pittsburgh on top.

6:47 – Seeing the Peyton Manning MasterCard commercial for the 572nd time, it’s hard to think of something new about it. But on Thursday, Tony Kornheiser showed why he’s so utterly brilliant: given 5 minutes with Eli Manning, he took 30 seconds to ask Eli, completely straight-faced, if he ever received that autographed loaf of bread from his brother. Eli had fun with the question, and Tony succeeded once again.

6:53 – Nice commercial I’ve never seen before, for SONY HD televisions – the broadcast of the Cal/Stanford “The Play” (with the band), acted out poorly on an electronic football board. Solid B+.

6:55 – Frikkin awesome play called and executed by Pittsburgh on 3rd and 2 from the Cincy 43. Snap goes directly to Randle El, who runs right, then throws a perfect overhand lateral to Roethlisberger, who hits an extremely open Chuck Wilson for 6 points. Impressive stuff all around, and credit Simms for being on top of it all, from calling the direct snap to Randle El based on his positioning, to calling it a TD while Big Ben still had the ball. And credit the telecast director for getting a well-timed shot of the Steelers’ offensive coordinator. Game-changing-type play. 28-17.

6:56 – Just rewound and watched it again, and I heard a lot of cheers in Paul Brown Stadium. First playoff game in 15 years, and Bengals fans still scalped tickets to Steelers fans? Bad job.

6:58 – By the way, I checked NFL.com’s GameCenter for this game just now to check the proper spelling of Cedrick, and they’ve labeled the play a flea flicker. I think that’s inaccurate; a flea flicker is a play where the running back tosses back to the quarterback who throws the pass. On this play, Randle El was technically the quarterback (he took the snap) and Roethlisberger was the running back who threw the pass. I can’t imagine anybody actually cares about this, so I’ll stop.

7:06 – It took awhile, but Jon Kitna is reminding the world why he’s a backup QB. Last drive, he seemed to just hold the ball for minutes on end without doing much, this time he just threw a devastating INT. 11-point deficit now, and if it gets any bigger, Pittsburgh is headed for Indianapolis.

7:07 – I think I speak for the entire CBS viewership right now when I say ENOUGH SHOTS OF THE BETTIS PARENTS.

7:25 – Well, after a Steelers FG, a Bengals punt, and a Steelrs punt, the Bengals have the ball, down two TDs, with 6:42 left. Maybe they’d have a shot with Palmer still around, but with Kitna it’s Game. Over.

7:29 – Troy Polamalu clinches it. So over Wild Card Weekend, three road teams won, and the only home team that one had a worse record than their opponent. Interesting. Looking ahead, Indy should demolish Pittsburgh, but New England and Denver should be close. Seattle will be fired up, but they’ll be facing a red-hot Redskins team. Gut feeling right now: advantage Seattle. As for Carolina/Chicago, I need some distance from today’s game before I can really look at this one.

7:39 – Also, next week features four games between teams that faced each other in the regular season. I think this happened last year, too.

7:45 – I just checked; the rematch game applied to all four games in the first round, all four games in the second round, and the AFC championship game. Stupidly, I forgot to check if the team that won the first time won the second time as well. Mabye I’ll do it tomorrow and update.

7:50 – Yeah, that’s the ticket. I’ll write some sort of Giants conclusion tomorrow right here, as well as research the rematch factor. If I don’t, out of laziness, I’ll end by pointing out that the Giants are winless in the playoffs since Flash moved into his apartment. Time to move.

Back next week (maybe) for Divisional Playoff games.

The Bushinator

2005-12-30T11:11:00.000-05:00

Been gone awhile, I know. 2005 ended somewhat chaotically for me, but hopefully I'll recover quickly in the new year.

For my last post of 2005, I'd like to present a program I created called The Bushinator. Unfortunately I don't know how to post an Excel file on Blogger, so I'm going to have to tell you about it and if it sounds like something you'd like to see, email me and I'll send you the file. mailto:StudentofTheGame1@gmail.com or leave a comment.)

With all the talk here in NY about the Jets in the running for Reggie Bush and the myriad of tiebreak scenarios that could occur, I decided to make a program on Excel to play out whatever scenario I want. Basically, it works like this: you put in who you think will (or who you want to) win this weekend's games, and based on the data I put in, it will automatically calculate strength of schedule for the tiebreak teams. It's pretty cool, actually. If nothing's showing up, enter the winner of HOU/SF; that's when the fun starts. This can be used in two ways: 1) for obsessive fans of these teams to play with today and tomorrow trying to figure out what exactly needs to occur for their team to score the #1 pick; 2) to actually fill in on Sunday as the games are being played, to stay 7 steps ahead of CBS and FOX (always fun). There are only 2 discernable flaws that I know of: 1) It doesn't account for ties; 2) if there's a tie in opponent's winning percentage, the NFL is going to a coin flip. My program picks a winner somewhat arbitrarily. So keep your eyes on the Opp. Win Pct. column. Oh, and I called it the Bushinator because essentially it's going to calculate which team gets Reggie Bush (maybe with the exception of the Saints), and because it was 2:30 in the morning and I needed to save the Excel file as something other than Untitled.

I gave this program a test run by sending it to some of my friends, including a Fine Fellow and J.Z. Both of them responded with variations on "you have no life." But judging by the harshness of their tone, I knew I was on to something, for it is my experience that the more angry the "you have no life," the greater my accomplishment.

Back in 2006 (hopefully with November 2005 frequency!)

Salvation from Showtime?

2005-12-14T13:18:00.000-05:00

From the rarely-cited "Good News About Arrested Development" Department:

"Word around town this week is that Showtime is in talks to pick up the comedy about a chaotic family. Sources stressed that the talks are still exploratory..." (Full story)

If that news doesn't make you want to get up and do something good, like donate money to help fight TBA, well, I can't help you.

(Thanks to Hearsay for the tip.)

ESPN Jumps the Gun

2005-12-13T17:35:00.000-05:00

I just experienced a minor annoyance. I ignore most of the talking heads on ESPN, but I enjoy watching Pardon the Interruption. So I turn on the TV at exactly 5:30 today, only to find Kornheiser and Wilbon in the throes of an Artest-related debate. Now hang on just a second. I watch the show almost every day; I know it comes on at exactly 5:30 every day. Thankfully, my TV was already on ESPN, so through the magic of DVR, I was able to rewind and find the beginning of the program. It started at 5:27 and 24 seconds. So one of two things is true: either it was a one-time slip-up by someone who miscalculated how many commercials to air during "Around the Horn," or ESPN is trying to not-so-subty lure viewers into turning on ESPN before 5:30, just as they try to keep viewers on after 6:00 by pushing PTI's "Big Finish" into a Sportscenter segment. Broadcast networks started airing shows two or three minutes past their alotted slots last year as a "TiVo buster," i.e. to teach people recording a 60-minute episode a lesson, namely, to set their DVR's to record 5 minutes into the next show as well. But I've never heard of a show coming on early.

Of course, it's also possible that "Around the Horn" had either not enough content or not enough ads (or both) to fill 30 minutes, and this is a sign that points to the show's imminent demise. If this is the case, all is forgiven.

The Couch Critic - Week 14

2005-12-13T10:39:00.000-05:00

I know, I know, it's already Tuesday. Here it is. As always, first entry below, click here for the whole enchilada.
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12:50 - Here we go for the third straight week. One of the more amazing things about doing this is it makes me realize how lucky I've been to have open Sundays since October. With so many engagement parties, weddings, and other "distractions" taking place, I haven't missed a football Sunday since that three-week wedding streak to start the season. And, more importantly, January looks open, too - last year I missed Pats/Colts as I was at a wedding in Boca Raton (though I caught part of the game at the hotel bar). Anyway, today starts at 4:05. I'll keep an eye on Jets/Raiders on CBS, but more likely I'll be paying attention to goings-on around the league, notably Chicago vs. Pittsburgh and Indy vs. '72 Dolphins. This week has a 8-6 early game/late game breakdown, which is nice, with 2 televised games later this afternoon, Giants and Cowboys. Bless you, picture-in-picture.

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12:55 - Picks for the sake of picking games. Last week: 10-6. 22-7-1 since I started this thing. I've barely even paid attention to the lines yet, so this is pretty much off the cuff... Minnesota -7, Oakland -3, Pittsburgh -6.5, Tampa Bay +5.5, Indy -9.5, Patriots -3.5, Cincy -12.5, Titans -6.5, Seattle -15.5(!), Washington -4, Miami +13.5, Dallas -3, Denver -14, Green Bay -6, Atlanta -10. As for the Giants, I'll take Philly -9.5, but I think the Giants will win. If it's typical Giants, they'll beat a team they should blow out in edge-of-your seat, 4th-quarter comeback fashion.

1:00 - Ian Eagle is calling the Jets/Raiders game. I guess CBS really hates Ian Eagle. His second sentence of the day: "Brooks Bollinger still looking for his first start as a starting quarterback in the NFL." As Harry Doyle would say, "Who cares, nobody's listening anyway."

1:07 - Curtis Martin is missing his 5th game in his 11th NFL season. Why doesn't he get Favre-like praise for his durability? By the way, I may be watching the game right now, but I'm searching for a backup/pic-in-pic channel early.

1:10 - A telling sign of how much attention I'm paying to the TV: I just opened up the NFL.com GameCenters, and as I open the Jets one I actually think, "Wow, the Jets are moving down the field pretty quickly," completely oblivious to the fact that that has developed right before my eyes and ears.

1:13 - Jets have to settle for 3, fans not pleased. I mean, the ones that are there. When Nugent made that field goal, I saw a ton of empty seats. Is it worth it to call Time Warner right now and add the Cinemax package because one of the six channels they have is airing Ferris Bueller right now? Guess not. But seriously, 6 HBO's and here's what I have as backup channel options: Garfield: The Movie, Boxing, The Cooler, D.A.R.Y.L, Waiting for Guffman, and Dracula. Wonderful. Also, the Steelers scored on their first possession, with a 5-play, 66-yard TD drive. Think they're trying to tell the Bears defense something?

1:19 - Colts get 7 after an 11-play, 89-yard drive. Think they're trying to tell the '72 Dolphins something?

1:26 - I'm not sure I "get" this Nike LeBron commercial, where he's playing every member of the group/family, but I think I like it.

1:49 - Following the old "did I really call for a fair catch or did I just pull a fast one" routine, we have this exchange: Ian Eagle: "I have a feeling we're gonna see a little bit of everything here today." Solomon Wilcots: "I get the sense we're gonna see it all, my man." Me: "Yep, everything. Except good football." On the plus side, we might be at halftime by 2:05.

1:52 - Around the league... Bengals are not covering right now. Well, Bengals aren't even winning right now. One step at a time. Jacksonville got to the 10 but only got 3 out of it, that's the ballgame right there. Texans 3, Titans 0. They're just setting up a late-game collapse, don't worry. Heisman-winner Reggie Bush awaits.

1:54 - Tuiawhatever overthrows Moss, right into the hands of Ty Law. Law starts the runback, and as I say to myself, "he looks like he wants to make a stupid lateral," he makes a stupid lateral. Miraculously, the Jets didn't lose it. I would love to know the success rate of improv laterals. I'm guessing 20-30%.

1:59 - From GameCenter: 1-10-IND 35 (9:32) P.Manning pass to M.Harrison for 65 yards, TOUCHDOWN. Home. Field. Advantage.

2:01 - I should know better than to jinx myself. Due to recent developments, I may be missing the Giant game after all. Should this happen, I will DVR the game and come back tonight and watch the game, not knowing the outcome, and log the game here as if I was watching it live. The things I do for my reader(s). I'll miss around the league, but there's nothing really compelling at 4 other than Dallas, which is on TV anyway. Wait, should I DVR that game, too, then put them on together in picture-in-picture tonight as if I was watching both games from 4-7? Am I that sick? Stay tuned.

2:11 - Pats up 14-0. Steelers 14-3. Indy 14-0. Yawner of a 1:00, if I say so myself.

2:18 - Since I don't get to watch most Colts games (playoffs can't come soon enough), I'm quite used to seeing those long blue bars on GameCenter. Well, with two big bars and a couple of small ones, the Colts have it at the 5 yard line. The bad news is it's 4th and goal. I say go for it. Dungy agrees, wow. Didn't get it. Either it was a botched field goal or a fake, because the pass was thrown by Hunter Smith. (What exactly is a "modified swinging gate formation"? PrimeTime can't come soon enough.) Somehow I think Indy will survive this setback.

2:22 - Bengals got to the 4 yard-line, kicked for 3, got to the 10, kicked for 3. They trail by one going into the half. Not good numbers is you lay the 12.5.

2:25 - Oh, the Jets and Raiders are at halftime! Who knew? 6-3 Jets. Ugh. Greg Gumbel even makes fun of it: "we promise there are TD's being scored in the NFL today."

2:27 - The halftime crew just showed the "swinging gate play" from the Indy game. Hard to tell exactly, but after a lot of pausing and rewinding, it seems to go something like this. Line up in FG formation, then 7 players all go to the left side of the field, leaving the center, the "quarterback," (Hunter Smith, the FG holder) a back, and a blocker. Smith takes the shotgun snap, then the center goes out to the right while Smith fakes a screen to the back to his left. It worked brilliantly; all the Jaguar defenders broke left. Smith, though, just missed the hands of open center/receiver, Justin Snow, so no paydirt. But a really creative play call.

2:38 - CBS just lost its feed to the Jet game; my screen simply has the NFL on CBS logo and "Oakland at NY Jets" on the screen. Oh happy day!!!!! Gumbel comes on to make light of the situation, then sends us to another game! Yay! Oh, Bengals/Browns. Meh, still better than Jets/Raiders. Then again, it's the only game in the 2nd half right now. Maybe Colts/Jaguars is on the horizon. Though to be completely fair, this is the only competitive game of the afternoon right now, so maybe we should stick with this one.

2:42 - Or not. Feed back up. Just in time to see Janikowski miss a 29-yard field goal. Phew. Don't know what I would've done if I didn't see that. Here's hoping they lose the feed again.

2:53 - I haven't seen any highlights of the game, but either the Steelrs defense if playing really well or Kyle Orton is playing really crappy. Through 2+ quarters, Orton's 9/21 for 92 yards, sacked twice, 3 points for Chicago. Give the Steelers D credit, but watch for that Orton/Grossman QB controversy to get cooking tomorrow.

2:56 - Tom Brady just got intercepted at the 10 by London Fletcher. Great. I can already hear Chris Berman doing "awoooooooooo, werewolves of London" in my head.

2:57 - Next play, J.P. Losman thrown a pick. Rule of thumb: if your name is J.P., don't be attempting 44-yard bombs.

3:01 - The over/under for the Jet game is 30. Right now it's 9-3. Doug Jolley just made a spectacular drop (really, you had to see it to believe it), trying to do his part to make sure no TD's get scored today. You gotta admire his dedication, especially against his former team.

3:04 - Bruce Almighty on USA. As a backup channel, I give it a C+. Sadly, that's the top grade in the class today.

3:07 - Points coming in boatloads around the league. As I type this, 6 of 8 games have colored boxes around their GameCenters (red = red zone, blue = someone just scored). Steelers went up 21-3, Titans ran back a punt, 10-10 (seriously, if you were trying to lose, as Houston is, isn't allowing the punt return TD the perfect crime?), Carolina finally got on the board with a FG, Pats 21-0, Cincy FINALLY took the lead 20-17, and Indy's now in the red zone again. Of course, in the game on TV, the Jets get to the 4 and settle for another 3. 12-3. In the immortal words of Robbie Hart, somebody kill me please. As bad as I feel, though, Ian Eagle just sounds tortured at this point.

3:14 - John Abraham forces his second QB fumble of the day. Jet fans will miss him next year. Ian points out that a Jets win today really hurts their chances in the Reggie Bush sweepstakes. Nothing new there. But then he claims that players don't care, they just want to win. See, I have a hard time buying into that. Players have seen him play; they know any team that gets him is instantly better, especially a team who just lost their very old running back for the season. I know you "play to win the game," but isn't there some part of a player that says, "OK, I don't really like to lose, but why give 100% when a loss isn't that bad after all?"

3:56 - Phone call break. Catching up on the last 40 minutes: Jets and Raiders trade TD's, and in one of the greatest upsets in the 2005 NFL season, they rally to get 30 and reward those who took the over. Steelers beating the Bears handily, Same goes for Pats and Bucs (good call on both of those). Minnesota up 2 TD's. Predictably, the Texans are about to lose their third straight on a last-second game-winning field goal, which will be the second such field goal of the day, Shayne Graham and the Bengals being the first. Great game there, by the way. And Jacksonville made it interesting. Down 26-3, they scored, then recovered an onside kick, then got a TD and a conversion (26-18), but then elected to go deep with the kickoff, gambling that Indy wouldn't get a first down. I'll bet you can guess how that turned out. Backdoor cover by the Jaguars, as thousands of people scream in horror.

4:08 - Giants begin, and I've got to run. I tried to record Cowboys/Chiefs so I can recreate the full "Couch Critic" effect when I get back later, but alas, I don't have enough space on my DVR. I should watch that Baseball Tonight year-end Web Gem Spectacular and delete it already, I know.

8:41 - I'm back. It's 8:41 (see left). All the afternoon games are over. Right now in Green Bay, Patrick, Theismann, and Maguire are saying stupid things. But in the Student Lounge, it's 4:00. The games are going on, and I have no idea what happened. I do know that the Giant game was a good game, because of two indicators: 1) it ended at 7:40, and I know that because 2) my little brother called me at exactly that time only to hear "Don'ttellmewhathappenedItapedthegame" when I picked up the phone, and he'd only call if it was a close win or a close loss. So at least I know I'm not wasting my time. For the record, I said at 12:55, "If it's typical Giants, they'll beat a team they should blow out in edge-of-your seat, 4th-quarter comeback fashion." Kickoff for Giants and Cowboys is now. For simplicity's sake, I'll put down the time at which the events actually occurred, and not the time I'm actually watching them (i.e. 11:40 - Feely wins it with a 51-yard FG.)

4:06 - Buck and Aikman on FOX, Nantz and Simms on CBS. Works for me. Oh, and before I left I deleted enough crap on my DVR to make room for the Cowboys game as well. So to answer the question I posed above, yes, I clearly am that sick.

4:08 - Obviously, due to circumstances, my around the league comments for the late games will be restricted to reacting to scores, stats, and Game Breaks. I know you're all crushed.

4:12 - I didn't realize Eli Manning had such putrid Red Zone numbers. Greeeeeeeeeat. Luke Petigout, with his helmet on, looks a little like Jeremy Shockey. By the way, in the last three weeks Tiki Barber has gotten more praises, acclaims, and media attention than the rest of his career combined. That 3rd down extra effort is an example of why.

4:16 - 7-0. Great to see the Giants take their first posession all the way for a TD, even if took Shaun O'Hara shoving Tiki into the end zone to do it. Meanwhile in Irving, Dante Hall took the opening kick pretty far.

4:22 - Wait, this is not how it's supposed to work. The Giants are supposed to get beaten by backup quarterbacks, not backup running backs. This game belongs to Mike McMahon, not Ryan freaking Moats. Oh, and that 40-yard TD run was the longest run of the year for Philly. I'm not sure if the '86 Giants defense proclaiming the '05 Giants defense not in their league (see today's Daily News) was supposed to inspire them or something, but if that was the intention, it seems to have, shall we say, not worked.

4:28 - I don't know if it's a height thing, but Plaxico Burress draws a lot of pass interference penalties. I'm not complaining. And I know there are people who think I should cross out "draws" and replace it with "commits." Consider yourselves acknowledged.

4:30 - Aikman defends linemen in a roughing the passer discussion. Can't say I saw that coming. Really. Usually the former QB's side with the QB point of view. I see in pic-in-pic a flashback to the last Vermeil/Parcells matchup, a Jets/Rams game from the late '90's. I was thinking 'who cares,' but I guess Parcells and Vermeil were heated rivals in the Giants/Eagles days, so it warrants mentioning. Giants go into FG range, then out of FG range. Punt. Ugh.

4:36 - Petigout hurt. I'm OK with it. Pierce hurt. I'm NOT OK with that.

4:40 - Larry Johnson runs it in for 6. I may have picked the Cowboys to win this game (and cover), but that's because it's what I think will happen, not what I want to happen. 7-0 KC. Excellent. Speaking of picks, I went 4-4 in the early games. Won Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa (great pick), and New England. Lost Tennesse (13 points against Houston?), Oakland (who cares), Indy (backdoor!), and Cincy (should've lost outright).

4:43 - Antonio Pierce is leaving being carted off the sidelines. This is not good at all. 7-7 after first quarter. Against a team coming off a demoralizing 42-0 loss, mind you.

4:47 - Amani Toomer just made his 743rd dragging-the-feet catch of the year. Not as pretty as the one in Seattle, but nice nonetheless. Oh, and Tiki brought it to the 1-yard line. And the only thing more predictable than Brandon Jacobs coming into the game is Troy Aikman ciriticizing Tom Coughlin for bringing Brandon Jacobs into the game. And Jacobs brought it.... close. Here we go again... Giants/Eagles, close game, 1st and goal from the 1, and they can't get it in. Except he seemed to get in on 3rd. Coughlin's gonna challenge, and probably win. Nice second effort by Jacobs, by the way. Wow, no TD. 4th and 6 inches. Manning takes it in, though minus the leap that McMahon used a few weeks back. Aikman continues to bash the Coughlin/Jacobs specialty decision.

4:58 - Now Kareem McKenzie is limping. This is fun, let's guess who gets hurt next. Um..... Carlos Emmons. Why not. Osi Umenyiora is now leading the NFL in sacks. And people are starting to notice. That Seattle game, where he dominated the previously unstoppable Walter Jones, was clearly his "notice me" game.

5:02 - As McKenzie gets carted off and Manning starts to wonder how many sacks are now forthcoming, I'm recalling reading a column in this morning's Daily News in which the columnist mentioned how fortunate the Giants have been to have had a relatively injury-free season thusfar. I don't remember who wrote the column, but I hope bad things are happening to him right now. Cowboys and Chiefs have been trading punts, as far as I can tell, though Dallas is at the 25 right now.

5:07 - Big Play Burress gets it done again on 3rd down. As he made that catch, you could definitely hear a big Giant fan contingent there. Always good. Dallas settles for a field goal. Also good.

5:11 - This Whitfield fella they brought into to play left tackle seems a tad overmatched. Just a tad. Not like that should bother Manning or anything. Don't you love when your team has 3rd and goal from the 14? And now Diehl is limping. This is as frustrating as the Seattle game, except with injuries instead of penalties. The only good news is Tony Gonzalez just broke a Roy Williams tackle at the 43 yard line, and took it inside the 10. If I made an "I love...." Coors commercial, "Roy Williams giving up a big play" would be up there more than once. 14-3, KC.

5:16 - Jay Feely Time. He of the last 4 of 5 missed. If you can't hit this 24-yarder, Jay, leave the stadium. He hit it; 17-7.

5:20 - Big run by Moats, the newest official Giant Killer, and then we have some good old-fashioned fisticuffs. Grabbing, swinging, all the good stuff. Like most football fights, it lasts 10 seconds. The NFL needs hockey-style, one-on-one, 2-minutes-at-a-time brawls. Meanwhile... Bledsoe to Glenn for 71 yards. On a flea-flicker. Those things still work, I guess, because Glenn was pretty open. By the way, Bledsoe had that ball in the air for about 60 yards. Vermeil is dismayed. Yeah, I'd be too. 14-10.

5:24 - At the end of the day, that flea flicker and Ryan Flippin Moats are gonna give the Cowboys the NFC East back. He turned the corner and just bolted down the sideline. Buck: "Boy, he can fly." Westbrook: "Nah, he's not that good." 17-14.

5:30 - Giants trying to put together one more drive before the half. After converting 3rd and 1, a holding penalty from the makeshift O-line brings it back. This is definitely a good sign. And now a false start, for tradition's sake. Punt. And the Eagles fumble it but recover. This is too tight to take. (Then again, I already know this. I'm just trying to convince myself maybe the Giants really did blow them out, and my brother was calling to celebrate a 45-14 win that took until 7:40 to end.)

5:37 - Manning's 1st half: 13/20, 151, TD. Not bad for a historically awful road QB. Of course, the Eagles could tie or take the lead with this last drive. Akers ties it with a 42-yard FG. Arizona has a 10-3 lead over Washington at halftime. Interesting. I switch to Dallas/KC in time to see Green get sacked and fumble inside the 20, and Dallas take it back to the KC 25. My dinner is having trouble staying down. Couple of plays later, Beldsoe to Witten, 17-14. On a flea-flicker and a 14-point swing off a fumble. Words escape me.

5:46 - I don't know why I'm watching the halftime highlights, I really don't. But I am. No halftime score really jumps out at me except the aforementioned 10-3 Arizona lead.

5:57 - It's actually 10:10 in the real world, and I'd like to finish by 11:35 so I can watch Mike Francesa's NBC show (instant Giants analysis plus he has Reggie Bush in studio). I watched the first half pretty quickly; after all, time flies when you're skipping commercials.

6:02 - So close to a 3-and-out, the defense allows a huge gain on the first Philly drive of the 2nd half. Picking up where they left off. (Am I more bitter at night?) And Deloatch commits a questionable PI. And Allen commits holding. 7 penalties, 56 yards. Great. Now the Eagles hold on a play where Strahan gets the sack anyway. Why Coughlin accepts these penalties and allows extra downs, I'll never know. Well, at least this time, they got another sack.

6:07 - Bonnie Bernstein, on CBS, just made fun of former MNF sideline gal Lisa Guerrero for posing in Playboy. Well, not really, but it would be funny if she did.

6:08 - Akers doinks a 49-yarder. They didn't show Feely, but I'm guessing he's smiling. Washington seems to have gotten its act together; they now lead 17-13.

6:14 - Giants moving the ball real well with their first 2nd-half possession. With a makeshift line, Buck reminds us. Good point. Inside the 5 now, but no guarantee they'll get points out of this. Whitfield starts falsely, to help move things along. Toomer saves the drive as KC goes back on top of Dallas (3rd TD for Larry Johnson). Good things and bad things both seem to happen at the same time. I conclude, therefore, that the Giants and Chiefs will either both win or both lose.

6:19 - Fade to Shockey, incomplete. 3rd and goal. Fade to Burress, incomplete. Inspired play-calling by John Hufnagel. This 21-yarder should be in Feely's range, and as he hits it, I begin to wonder if he can hit one outside of 30.

6:30 - I'm starting to grow impatient, so I'm starting to fast forward between plays every so often. Better to do it now than late in the 4th (and overtime?), when I'd rather simulate the tension of game time, when there' s no fast forward.

6:32 - Tiki just turned an 8-yard catch and run into a 32-yard catch and run. You know, it's not that he hasn't been doing everything he's doing this year for years, it's just that nobody seemed to notice until recently. 20-17 Giants after 3. In a game I've yet to mention, the Broncos are leading the Ravens 12-3. Sounds like fun.

6:38 - Defensive holding keeps the Giant drive alive. One Manning scarmble later, 3rd and short. Tiki gets nothing, so Feely's gonna try to be 3 for 3 from inside 30. Got it. 23-17.

6:43 - Patrick Surtain just dropped a 6-point INT in the red zone. Bledsoe and co. are trying to make him pay. They succeed. 24-21, Dallas.

6:47 - Reggie Brown just caught a deflected, wobbly pass he had no business catching. I'm gonna go out and say it: the Giants' secondary sucks. Eagles now inside the 20, and the Giants just missed a pick. Huge 3rd down. Not converted. Akers cuts the lead to 3.

6:59 - Manning finally throws that INT we've all been waiting for, and with 3:30 or so left and the Eagles trailing by 3, this game has overtime written all over it. And yes, I'm probably saying that because I realize there are about 40 real-time minutes left in the game.

7:01 - Reggie Brown almost caught it at the goal line. 2 minute warning. I've barely paid attention to the pic-in-pic, though I just saw Dallas pull the old fake FG/pitch punt move in lieu of attempting a 53-yarder. Net gain: 16 yards. Parcells can't be pleased. Akers from 50, for the tie.... bulls-eye. 23-23. Giants will get the ball with 1:52 and 3 timeouts; they should be able to win it here. Unless it's resting on the foot of Feely. Actually it would be nice if Feely wins it here, especially if it's on a kick of some range.

7:08 - False start. Yeah, that's the way to start a game-winning drive. In happier news, Green bomb to Kennison, 28-24 KC. Maybe good things are in store after all. Shockey hauls in a bad Manning throw, and we're in business.

7:11 - 37 ticks left, Giants just barely in Philly territory. Feely must be squirming on the bench. Feely breathes a sigh of relief as Manning overthrows Shockey and hits Michael Lewis in the numbers. They just can't win on the road, though in this case they might not lose. Note the subtle difference between winning and not losing. Eagles continue to drop passes; apparently they lead the league in that prestigious categories. The secondary is getting bailed out. Like I said, they're not winning, they're just not losing. Anyway, 9 seconds left, and it looks like OT to me. It's OK, OT has been good to the Gi- what? Oh, right. Bad loss to the Cowboys, shattering loss to Seattle.

7:15 - Cowboys driving to save their lives, while a Game Break on CBS shows San Diego fighting to stay alive as well: late TD to cut the deficit to 2, onside kick coming up. What an upset that would be. For those forgetful folk, that spread was 13.5 (some places a bit higher, even).

7:17 - Coin toss..... Eagles. Damn. Dallas inside the 10. Damn. Washington held off Arizona. Damn.

7:21 - Question: Do the Giants need a touchdown or safety to win this game? Answer: Not if they get the ball inside the 10, Remember, Feely's unstoppable inside 30 yards. FINAL: Miami 23, San Diego 21. Wow. Gotta pause the Giant game to see 3rd and goal in Dallas.

7:22 - 3rd and goal.... close but no cigar. 4th and goal... close but no cigar! But a flag! Wow. CBS didn't really show the defensive hold, thanks guys. 4 more chances for Dallas. KC needs a huge stand. 1 down, 3 to go. CBS uses the timeout to show the holding, finally. Simms says good call. I agree. 2nd and goal... play-action perfection. Nobody was anywhere near Dan Campbell there. Cowboys 31, Chiefs 28. Helluva game.

7:25 - Back in Philly, close spot after a nice gain for the Eagles on 3rd down. They got it. Strahan and Gibril Wilson get a desperately needed sack. 3rd and long now. Strahan makes it 4th and longer with another huge sack (huge in yards, huge in importance). Giants will get it. Please get inside the 10.... Please get inside the 10....

7:28 - Giants moving the ball well, cameras all over Feely. And then a great sequence: Buck calls Manning "McMahon," and Kearse gets called for a horse-collar tackle. Except he doesn't.

7:32 - KC just completed a long pass to Hall; they're in FG range to tie. Lawrence Tynes misses the 41-yarder wide right. Like I said, helluva game. Cowboys win and the game's a push. Great. Giants need to win. Badly.

7:33 - 3rd and 3, if they don't get it, it's some kick for Feely. They don't get it. 52-yard attempt. Not happening, they're going for it. I'm glad they have so much confidence in their kicker. Deflection, INT. That's 3 since the start of the 4th quarter. Another banner day for Eli Manning. Eagles poised to win this one, if they can find an offense.

7:37 - Eagles have been penalized for 101 yards, 30 more than the Giants. 1st and 20 begets 2nd and 20. 2nd and 20 begets 3rd and 20. 3rd and 20 begets... FUMBLE? or incomplete? For your information, I think Osi was the Greek god of defense.

7:40 - 3rd and 8, at the 21. This kick is inside 40. You HAVE to trust your kicker. If you don't, why is he on the team. Let him win this f---ing game. By the way, if he misses, there's a good chance this game ends in a (gasp!) tie.

7:42 - Andy Reid ices Feely. Couldn't hurt. FOX shows the 4 misses from the last two weeks. Couldn't hurt, either.

7:43 - Memo to Shockey: KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM UNTIL THAT BALL SPLITS THE UPRIGHTS, UNDERSTAND?

7:43 - Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood! The Feely Redemption! That man is smiling like a psychotic serial killer right now, and Giant fan or not, you gotta feel happy for the guy.

7:44 - Pick the back pages tomorrow: "FEEL-ING GOOD"? "FEEL-ING JUST FINE"? For the record, I thought that kick was sailing wide left.

7:44 - Post-game highlight: Pam Oliver having to kick out the reporters from CBS2, NBC4, FOX5, MSG, and News 12 (seriously, there were 5 microphones on camera when they went to Pam), so she can get to Feely. "Excuse me, people." Awesome. 4 of 4 for Feely. Good for him.

7:46/11:55 - As I switch to Mike'd Up, a little perspective. I said it at the start of the day: they should have blown the Eagles out, and they had to squeak it out in OT. Why? Because Eli choked when it mattered, and the secondary continues to be susceptible. The Chiefs are coming to town in six days. They better get healthy, play a clean offensive game, and figure out a way to stop Kennison and Hall, or it's gonna be a long Saturday evening at the Meadowlands.

11:58 - NFC picture: Seattle 1, everyone else... well, it's complicated, just check the standings, I'm too tired to get into all the permutations. Same goes for the AFC. Off the cuff predictions: AFC order: Indy, Cincy, Denver, Pats, Jacksonville, Pittsburgh. NFC order: Seattle, Carolina, Giants, Bears, Bucs, Cowboys. Oh, and speaking of picks, I went 3-1-2 in the afternoon (Dallas and Washington pushed, and Denver won by 2, not 14). And Green Bay didn't cover, either. Final for the day: 7-6-2.

As for next week's edition, there are three possibilities: 1) a special Saturday edition for the Giant game; 2) regular Sunday special; 3) both. Playing it by ear.

Tom Brady - Sportsman of the Year

2005-12-05T10:05:00.000-05:00

Last year, it was the Boston Red Sox. This year, Tom Brady. Next year, Paul Pierce? Somehow I doubt it. Anyway, this SotY resembles Lance Armstrong's award in 2002, i.e. the editors got together and said, "Well, the choices this year aren't that great, some of our more esteemed writers are suggesting Terrell Owens, Drew Rosenhaus, Jason Giambi, and a freaking horse... Let's just give it to the guy who didn't do anything he didn't do before, but he keeps doing it." Congratulations, Tom. Maybe now you'll feel like you've accomplished something.

The Couch Critic - Week 13

2005-12-05T00:40:00.000-05:00

So last week's premiere installment of "The Couch Critic" seemed to be well-received (i.e. nobody had the heart to tell me how bad/useless/moronic the whole thing was), so I decided to give it another go. Yesterday was the reverse of last week: main event at 1, and then dull beyond belief once the late game started. Anyway, here's the first entry; click here to read the whole thing.
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12:55 - Back by popular demand (translation: a couple of people told me it helped them pass the time on Monday), The Couch Critic returns for a second installment in Week 13. Main event: Dallas at Giants at 1. Amazingly, the game I happened to be up to in my Madden franchise is Dallas at Giants (year 14). So I played it this morning, hoping to predict how the real game would play out. The fact that the intensity level was down because it was only week 3 was evened out by the fact that it was a Monday night game. I even had them wear the godawful red jerseys (Default uniform 5). Final score: Giants 180, Dallas 7. Eli Manning (the sole remaining player from the original team; Shockey retired after year 13) was 15 of 20 for 604 yards and 10 TDs. And for those who think I turned down the level to produce an extremely favorable result, well, I don't know what you're talking about.

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12:57 - As I set things up in the Student Lounge, I see we're getting Joe Buck and Troy Aikman for the next three hours. I actually like them (except when Buck tries to be funny and when Aikman acts like he's auditioning for Brokeback Mountain), but I know there are those who don't. To them I say, at least it's not Stockton/Moose/Goose.

12:59 - That Brokeback Mountian joke works on a few levels. Just go to IMDB.com if you haven't the slightest idea what I'm talking about.

1:00 - Kickoff. There are 10 1:00 games this week (10!), and three of them are great. One of them I'm watching which means I'll keep my eyes on Pittsburgh/Cincy and Atlanta/Carolina whenever possible. I had a legendary week with my picks last week (12-1-1) which means I'm gonna pay for it this week in a big way, especially in a week replete with great games, difficult lines, and bad weather. Some games I picked just because it seems the rest of the world has the other team. Anyway, I have little to no confidence in most of these, but here they are, for no other reason than the sake of picking games: Miami -5, Tampa -3.5, Cincy +3.5, Atlanta +3, Baltimore -8, Chicago -7, Jacksonville -3, Detroit +3, Indy - 16, Washington -3, San Fran +3, New England -10, Kansas City +1, San Diego -11.5, Philly +4. As for the Giants, even though I can't be objective, I really think they're gonna win this game. All things considered, especially remaining schedule and momentum, the winner of this game wins the NFC East. Fortunately for the Giants, they're at home in a playoff atmosphere, off a brutal loss, facing a heated rival, in the snow. This is their game. Giants -3, and it's my lock of the week.

1:08 - Eli Manning is a strange quarterback. On a drive that looked like it could go somewhere, he overthrew an open Tiki Barber while not even seeing an open Shockey, then he gets creamed on 3rd and 8. Yet if this was the 4th quarter, somehow he makes those plays. Go figure.

1:11 - The Giants were basically begging the fans to be loud this week to give their opponent a taste of what they themselves went through last week in Seattle. 1 play in, 1 false start on the Cowboys. Nice start by the crowd, which will never be loud enough because most of them are too old to stand up and cheer. There, I said it.

1:14 - Crowd noise backfires, Robbins called for encroachment. 3rd and 5 becomes 1st and 10. Brilliant. 1 penalty down, 15 to go to catch last week's total.

1:16 - Pass interference on Frank Walker. 2 down, 14 to go. Both penalties extending the drive. This cannot go on. By the way, I wouldn't be surprised if I post every 2 or 3 minutes this game. For one thing, it's helping release the nervous energy that comes with watching the Giants in their most important game in years, and for another thing, I can't imagine many (if any) notable things coming to mind if and when I watch Jets/Pats.

1:20 - OK, so maybe it can go on. Third penalty on 3rd down, each one worse than the previous one. Dallas now on an 8-play, 45 yard drive, with 29 coming from the Giants. Wait, it's 3rd and 11... incomplete... no penalty... it can be done! Nope, they were just waiting to top themselves with a penalty on 4th down. Incredibly, the five yard offsides penalty doesn't give Dallas the first down. This next offsides, however, should. Punt. Fair catch. NO FLAGS. Giants ball. I think.

1:28 - Giants 3 and out. My first glance around the league shows nothing interesting, but our first Game Break shows Brad Johnson to Koren Robinson for 80 yards. Not good for the Giants. Minnesota has the tie-breaker over them, so they sure as hell better finish at least one game better than the Vikings. Oh, and now I see on TV the Bengals just tied the Steelers. OK... over to the GameCenter, I see a long, black bar to the end zone. Hopes up.... Carson Palmer to.... Houshmandzadeh. Oh. I know, I know, it's bad football to want one person to score just to see what he's gonna do to celebrate, but come on? He dropped hints and everything! I know I'm not the only one who wants to know what Chad Johnson + TD + "Iron" equals.

1:34 - Last Cowboys drive ended on a Umenyiora sack. I did not know that was his 11th of the year. He's having a great year.

1:38 - If that's not a horse-collar tackle, what is? Roy Williams is the guy that prompted the rule in the first place! How is that not called? I hope Aikman's right; he just predicted that ther NFL rules committee will will make the no-horse-collar-tackle rule tighter for next year. And by the way, as bad as NFL officiating can be sometimes, I rarely think it skews in favor of one team over another (as opposed to baseball and basketball). Today is one of those days.

1:42 - Giants have 3rd and 6 at the 30. If they don't get the TD on this drive, I'm curious to see/hear fan reaction to Jay Feely coming onto the field. I feel like given the importance of the game, they'll give him an encouraging cheer, and an even louder ovation if he makes the kick. Illegal contact makes that a moot thought, for now at least.

1:46 - Brandon Jacobs. TD or fumble is sure to follow. TD. 7-0. Crowd gives Feely warm hand for PAT. Always good to be ahead 7-0 instead of behind, but plenty of football left.

1:55 - History has proven that Drew Bledsoe plus pressure (in this case I'm talking about literal pressure on the QB during a play, though pressure in the sense of general game pressure applies as well) equals good things for defense. First the wobbly throw, then the fumble. Good times. Front four is playing extremely well.

1:59 - Classic Manning 1st-half INT. Underthrown, placed perfectly for Aaron Glenn. Not very helpful. Defense better make sure Eli doesn't pay for that.

2:01 - Fantastic sequence during what would otherwise be an ordinary situation: Dallas called for holding. During the official's announcement, right when he says "10 yards," Strahan bellows into the ref's mic, "Move 'em back!" causing Joe Buck to explain to us that, yes, Michael Strahan just said that into the ref's mic. As Buck says this, they go to a shot of Parcells reacting to the holding call, and in the words of Keith Olberman, "I can read lips, and he is not praying." He's actually saying, "Motherf----r!" causing Buck, just done talking about Strahan talking, to remark, "and we can't repeat what Bill Parcells just said."

2:04 - During the timeout, I check in with my friend U-Boat, who was planning to scalp tickets to today's game. Typical U-Boat - he went to the game looking to pay for tickets, ended up getting one for free. This only happens to him, and that is why I hate him sometimes. But it sounds like he's having fun at his first NFL game, so good for him. And any ticket that goes to a screaming 20-something instead of a grumpy 70-something is a ticket well used.

2:10 - The media made a lot about Aaron Glenn being a lot shorter than the guy he's covering, Plaxico Burress, but so far it hasn't been too much of a problem. I mention this because somehow Glenn made just enough contact to bring Burress down and save his team 4 points. If Feely...

2:11 - FG good, crowd rejoices. If I could choose a way to win today, I'd like nothing more than Feely to hit a 40+ yarder to win this game.

2:24 - Defense bends but doesn't break. Keyshawn Johnson just made his first catch. Giants should go into the half up 10-0. Now that my computer is back to notmal, time to check around the league... Colts up big, same with Minnesota, Buffalo, and Cleveland. Told you I was due for an historically bad week. Steelers have the ball inside the 20 with under a minute to go in the half. That game could be 21-21 at halftime. Nice.

2:30 - They only got a FG; 21-17, Cincy. While I have some time to kill, a word or two about Tiki Barber. You would think no athlete could be underrated in New York, a town where the smallest things get overhyped, and good athletes are perceived as great ones (my brother insists this applies most to Derek Jeter, but any Met fan that says that knows that he's not exactly impartial). Anyway, somehow Tiki Barber has been having an absolutely stellar career which is only getting noticed recently. Yes, he had the fumbling problem, but it was a blessedly brief period. He does so many things well: makes the long runs, makes catches out of the backfield, and throws clutch blocks whenever neccesary (see: end of this year's Denver game). And he probably makes the improv-cutback better than any running back in football without the initials L.T. The stats over the years back him up, as Peter King showed a few weeks ago in his Monday Morning QB. But like I said, it's starting to get noticed. Like by King. And Joe Buck made a point of all this in the 1st half. I just hope Giant fans appreciate it now, because he will be hard to replace (see: Phil Simms).

2:38 - 2nd half starts with a BANG! Just as Aikman says, "This Giants defense has really made a statement early [sic] in this game," Kendrick Clancy takes the handoff instead of Julius Jones, Pierce recovers, strolls into the end zone, 7 points to start the 2nd half. Buck is speechless, and frankly, so am I. 12 seconds into the 3rd quarter, the Giants are about to kick off again, this time up 17-0. Great feeling.

2:47 - FOX just showed some stat: Cowboys first 29 plays, 33 yards; next 2 plays, 40 yards. Giant defense again bends but doesn't break, so here comes Billy C. for a 34-yard attempt. Missed bad on Thanksgiving, not an easy one here.... made it. Should've expected that from the guy that made 7 in one game here two years ago.

2:59 - Aikman says that after the defensive TD, the Giants D let up a bit, allowing that FG, and now allowing another drive. Couldn't agree more. Then he says this is a huge defensive series. Again, right on. And now Julius Jones takes a screen pass 25 yards. How did a fumble return TD swing momentum the other way, exactly?

3:04 - Bend, don't break. Seems to be the defensive theme of the day. This time it's Strahan getting it done.

3:09 - And as the defense rises to the occasion, the offense fails them as Manning throws a brutal INT, followed by an easy Terry Glenn TD. 17-10. The Giants just can't play a complete game, no matter how hard they try (Washington game excepted). Giants need a score on this drive to get some edge back.

3:15 - Offense continues to annoy: Tim Carter drops long bomb, then Burress commits offensive PI. Not good at all. So much for the edge. And the punt return goes 26 yards to the 40. You can hear the fear in the Meadowlands, and Antonio Pierce lying on the ground isn't helping things much.

3:18 - Nice of FOX to disguise a rerun of "Family Guy" by calling it a "Viewer's Choice Episode." Seriously, did they think we wouldn't notice? Or that we'd be more inclined to watch it despite the fact that it's a repeat? That said, it beats the "Prison Break" promos, which come with broadcasters trying to work the promo into the game somehow.

3:20 - Sack, INT. Does Bill Parcells think Drew Bledsoe can give him a road win in the playoffs? I don't. By the way, since it worked last week, let's try it here: Memo to Giants offense -- Wake up!!!

3:23 - I've been saving this comment for awhile, so I'll just get it out now: if the Giants win this game, they should wear the red jerseys every home game the rest of the year. If they lose, the red should be retired forever. They're ugly enough to begin with, their premise is devious (let's get stupid fans to shell out money for a different color!), and there's a reason the Giants are called "Big Blue." Having said that, if they win today, I'm willing to overlook all that.

3:26 - Hat trick for Manning. Threw it under intense pressure. You know, I take it back. Putting red on a quarterback has to be the dumbest idea ever. The only people that could be liking these jerseys (other than Giants sales staff) are the back-page writers for the local papers. Bet they're just waiting to put "Seeing Red" or "Red Men Walking" or whoknowswhat on the back page. Anyway, penalty takes the INT away. Phew.

3:29 - See my halftime comments about Tiki. 27-yard run, the last bunch on an amazing second effort. Now wait a second. 4th and 6, at the Dallas 29, and they're gonna go for it? If that's not a giant middle finger at Jay Feely, I don't know what is. The closer/kicker analogy comes into play once again: if you have him as your kicker, then don't be afraid to use him. If you're afraid, cut him. Two weeks ago this is a FG attempt. Buck just said that with today's wind, it's outside Feely's FG range (determined pre-game by the special teams coach), but I'm not buying it. Not surprisingly, turnover on downs ensues.

3:34 - I need some around the league to distract me... Colts are 12-0, Chicago and Carolina are winning close, Tampa up 7, Cincy up by 7 in what has to be the game of the day (if it's not this one), Jacksonville redeeming my -3 pick with a 17-point 3rd quarter.

3:38 - Cowboys go 3 and out. Finally. Followed by a 27-yard, ugly punt. As FOX goes to commercial, they show a fuming Parcells, who clear screamed "F-- you!" to nobody in particular. Kind of an odd exclamation to just, you know, exclaim, no? Then again, it's possible he said it to the punter, which may or may not have made him cry.

3:42 - This could be the drive, at last. 10 yards to Burress. Tiki for another 10. Maybe, just maybe they can get their first offensive points of the 2nd half... Jim Finn with a 15-yard catch-and-run. I'll take it.

3:46 - Jay Feely promised his teammates this week he'd hit every FG attempt. Jay Feely just doinked a 33-yarder one off the right upright. Words escape me. They seem to escape Tom Coughlin, too.

3:48 - Pizza's here; maybe this will turn things around.

3:52 - Defense keeps getting it done, Giants have the ball. Wouldn't it be nice if they ran a nice, clock-killing drive, move the ball down the field, maybe even get inside the 2-minute warning, cap it all off with a field goal? You think that can happen? Me neither.

3:56 - Drew Bledsoe is not very good, and for this I am thankful.

4:00 - Colts are 12-0, Tampa beat Baton Rouge, Cincy and Minnesota have small leads late. By the way, this pizza not only is especially good today, it also forced the Bledsoe INT.

4:03 - Jeff Feagles for president. After Manning threw incomplete on 3rd down, Feagles put it inside the 5. Terrific. And Bledsoe/Glenn caused 80,000 hearts to momentarily stop. Booth review, it will still be incomplete.

4:06 - Dolphins making it a game with the Bills. Unfortunately for the rest of the NFC, Detroit fell short in its comeback attempt (imagine that), and Minnesota somehow is now 7-5. Full NFC recap after this game ends. 38 seconds left; it would take Miracle at the Meadowlands II to lose this game. I'm not ruling it out, though.

4:10 - Forgot to pay attrntion to the (real) clock -- Cincy/Pittsburgh has been on CBS for 10 minutes. Pittsburgh is in trouble... but I'll pay attention when the Giants go final. FINAL! Julius Jones' football street smarts (or lack thereof) seal the deal. 8-4, NFC East leaders, without their offense scoring a 2nd-half point. Ugly wins are wins, too, and the defense responded time and time again. Nice job by them.

4:12 - Picture in picture tells me Cincy is kneeling against Pittsburgh. Great win for them, 38-31, on the road, against a quality team. Chad Johnson didn't score. Hopefully he doesn't take it too hard.

4:18 - Jets at Pats. Couple of things compel me to watch this thing: 1) heavy snow in Foxboro - always fun to watch football in snow; 2) .... uh, that's really it. Truth is, this is a good game to watch the Pats play" a 2-9 team with nothing to lose except their standing in the Reggie Bush Sweepstakes. They're at home, in snow, with only a one-game cushion on Buffalo -- er, maybe not... Sage Rosenfels just hit Chambers (why is this game still going on) for 57 yards, down by 6, and now they're inside the Buffalo 10. Anyway, New England should win this game 20-3.

4:24 - Speaking of games that refuse to end, the instant-classic Ravens/Texans game is coming down to the wire. Houston up 15-13, in danger of winning its 2nd game and thereby hurting its status as the favorite to get Reggie Bush. But only the Texans could let Kyle Boller do this with 50 seconds left and no timeouts: 24-yard pass, spike ball, 11-yard pass, spike ball, 35-yard pass, spike ball, field goal. Game set match, Ravens. After last week's 10-points-in-30-seconds loss to the Rams and now this, I really think the NFL needs to investigate if Houston is tanking games for the reason stated above. I am being completely serious about this.

4:28 - Rosenfels completes a 10-play, 73-yard drive in 1:45 with a TD pass to Chambers with 6 seconds left! Miami wins! 2nd place in the AFC East! (At 5-7.)

4:37 - Game Break on CBS shows Dante Hall catching a 41-yard TD pass to tie the Denver/KC game at 7. If you didn't see it, there were no defenders within 15 yards of him. Guess the Broncos secondary is getting ready for the Colts in the AFC championship game.

4:38 - Speaking of the Jets game, allow me to sum up what's transpired so far: punt, punt, missed field goal, punt. I'm putting this in pciture-in-picture and watching Giants post-game on FOX, now paused for a half hour.

4:59 - Watched FOX post-game. Back to the Jets/Pats game. Did I miss any TD's? No. Any field goals? No. What did I miss? Let's check GameCenter... punt, punt. Great football. Believe it or not, I actually have a rooting interest in this game. I'm rooting for this game to go late, and to end around 7:30. Why would I want that? Because 60 Minutes tonight is airing an interview with Howard Stern, whom I always find an interesting interview, and can't wait to see him on a show like that. So 60 Minutes will either be an hour or and hour and a half tonight, depending on the length of the game. ("Cold Case" is a repeat, and CBS will just pull it if neeed be.) Anyway, if they use the 90-minute "60 Minutes," (a bit of irony, I know) they'll show more of the interview with Stern.

5:05 - 3-0, Pats. That field goal just might be the difference.

5:08 - Every week, the CBS commercial with two plays from last year's NCAA tournament - the Deron Williams game-tying 3 against Arizona and the Patrick Sparks rim-banging, overtime-producing 3 against Michigan St. - makes me anxious for March. Today they had a new, more historic one: Sparks again, preceded by NC State '83, Laettner, and Bryce Drew. Bring on the Madness!

5:10 - Giants highlights on WFAN. Does Dick Lynch need to interrupt EVERY SINGLE call by Bob Papa? The man cannot keep his mouth shut during plays. Seriously, "way to go, kid" on the Jacobs TD couldn't wait until after Papa finished his sentence? They haven't played it yet, but 10 bucks says Lynch said "touchdown" before Papa on the fumble TD. Here it comes... well, I lose. But they cut the clip extremely short; I'm guessing Lynch said something right afterwords to ruin the highlight.

5:19 - The Jets/Pats game prodcues a moment for the ages. Bollinger gets sacked, loses the ball, flags fly, Pats recover, Vrabel flips it to Mcginest, flags fly, McGinest tackled. Officials confer. The referee, Jeff Triplette, begins to speak, with a I-can't-even-remember-all-of-this smile on his face, The following is Triplette's soliloquy, word for word: "There are multiple fouls on this play. [Big smile] Prior to the... prior to the... uh... the change of possession, personal foul, face mask, number 93 of the defense. [Big pause, deep breath] After the change in possession, illegal forward pass, number 50 [pause, another smile] of New... of New England. [Pause] At the tackle, personal foul, face mask, 15, of the Jets. [Pause, trying not to laugh] By rule, all those penalties will offset, and we'll repeat 3rd down." Kevin Harlan points out the Jets don't have a #15. Like that matters.

5:45 - Took a break to log that whole Triplette thing, and even posted it to the site already. Just thought it was funny. Halftime, yawn. 6-3, yawn. Ted Johnson honored, yawn. Around the league! Denver/KC 21-21. Nice. Maybe Jets/Pats will end early (sorry, Howard) and we can get the end of this one. Redskins up 3... Niners/Cardinals, yawn.

5:52 - Hey, how did I do with my early picks? Much better than I thought (thank you Jacksonville). 6-4. Lost Miami, Atlanta, Baltimore, and Detroit. Texans couldn't hold on, Lions couldn't come through. Oh well.

6:08 - The game is on, and I'm just not watching. 6-3 Pats, and they're driving. I think. KC just went up by 3. More importantly, 4:50 left in this game, 10:04 in KC. So far, so good.

6:20 - Since this game is quite dull, here's an announcer note that nobody else probably care s about. I noticed a few weeks ago that Kenny Albert has a thing for where players used to play; he kept saying things like, "Antonio Pierce, the former Washington Redskin," or "Mark Brunell, the former Jaguar." He actually does this a lot. Well, Kevin Harlan has a thing, too: colleges. ("Handoff to Faulk, and the back out of LSU picks up a couple.") It's one thing to mention a player's former school when discussing the player, but Harlan has mentioned schools mid-play-by-play at least 7 or 8 times today.

6:25 - 13-3 after 3 quarters. Around the league... KC/Denver tied at 24, 3 minutes left in the 3rd. Come on Belichick and Herm, keep this baby moving.

6:55 - While ignoring the football game, I see the Mets have acquired Paul LoDuca from the Marlins. And I can't figure out why. They have offers to two of the better catchers in baseball - Ramon Hernandez and Benjie Molina - on the table, and instead they settle on a mediocre hitter due 6.25 million a year for the next two years. Like most Mets fans I know, my policy this offseason is to Trust Omar, so I'm hoping Paul LoDuca plays as many games in a Mets uniform as former Marlin and Met catcher Charles Johnson did. Winter meetings start tomorrow; should be entertaining.

7:08 - KC leads Denver by 4, 2:11 to go. Can't CBS switch games? Please? Even Jets fans wouldn't mind at this point.

7:09 - Dumbest NFL story of the day: Seahawks "punished" for the Mike Holmgen's "They-said-they-screwed-up" thing. Right, so Holmgren wrongly said the NFL conceded referee mistakes, now they punished the Seahawks by not reviewing their games for two weeks. So how is this punishment, exactly? Well, say the refs make a huge error in tomorrow's game against the Eagles. Now Holmgren can't send the tapes for review by the league. If the ban wasn't there, he could send the tapes. And if he did, at best, what could happen? From the article: "Each week, the officiating department reviews them and sends a confidential response -- but it's usually nothing more than an apology, because results aren't changed." Wow. Mike Holmgren just blew his chances of being potentially apologized to by the NFL for two weeks. As the great Dr. Perry Cox would say, "Giant who cares."

7:17 - I hear Kevin Harlan reading the credits, so the game must be close to over. Yep, 30 seconds left. Final will be 16-3; if New England had gotten 5 more yards on their last FG drive, they would've had a TD and my 20-3 prediction would've been dead-on. Quick, send us to Kansas City!

7:18 - Well, we're in KC, but it's pretty unlikely we're gonna see anything of interest. KC just ran a play with 50 seconds left on 3rd down; Denver has no timeouts. KC calls time with 8 seconds left. Not much the Broncos can really do at this point. Phil Simms takes some unneccesary jabs at Howard Stern during the promo. Trent Green kills 5 seconds, here comes Jake Plummer with 3 seconds and a prayer.

7:25 - Afternoon picks: won with Washington, Pats, KC, lost on the Niners. But I'm not beating myself up over that one. As Bill Simmons wrote on Friday, "How are we supposed to pick a game like this? Seriously. You tell me." So I'm 9-5 going into the SNF/MNF games. Not bad.

7:33 - As PrimeTime gets rolling and I anxiously await the Curb season finale, some end-of-day thoughts. The Giants' win is especially big because the NFC playoff picture is getting crowded. Seattle is in; only their seeding remains to be seen. The Bears have 9 wins with 4 to play; they should be in as well. Same goes for Carolina. That leaves the Giants, Cowboys, Vikings(!), Bucs, and Falcons - five teams for three spots. The Redskins aren't even dead at 6-6, but they need a lot of help. Anyway, those five teams are now in a four-week dogfight for those last three spots, and the two teams with 8 wins (Giants, Bucs) have a head start. To say nothing of the fact that a division title means the first Giants home playoff game in 5 years. Just a huge win in the standings. Sure, their offense didn't exactly have a banner day, and a half-decent quarterback could've torched the secondary, but a W is a W. And it's the 8th W. AFC? Interesting. Colts are 1, obviously. Denver and Cincy are now tied for 2, and they'll both get in. Pats own the 4. Jacksonville also has 9 wins, and Gerrard showed he can get them into the playoffs, too. But assuming that Indy beats them next week, they'll be 9-4. So it's Jacksonville (9 wins), KC (8 wins), San Diego (8 wins if they take care of Oakland tonight), and Pittsburgh (7 wins) fighting for 2 spots. So both conferences will, in all likelihood, have two teams with winning records going home after 16 games. Should be a great finish.

That's it for Week 13 -- next week, Oakland at Jets, 1:00, then Giants at Philly, 4:00. After today's Jet game, though, I'm thinking of getting myself to a dish for the better 1:00 games. We'll see.

From the Mouths of Refs

2005-12-04T17:32:00.000-05:00

So while logging the day for this week's Couch Critic, I was lucky enough to catch the best referee gem since Week 8's "Delay of game, offense. Performing an unnatural act not common to the game in an attempt to get the offense to false-start," which prompted ESPN's Paul Maugire to remark, "That sounded a little obscene to me." Well, five Sundays later, on the same Gilette Stadium field, we have another contender for referee quote of the year, this one from Jeff Triplette. The play itself was crazy: Bollinger gets sacked, loses the ball, flags fly, Pats recover, Vrabel flips it to Mcginest, flags fly, McGinest tackled, flags fly. Big mess for Triplette to clean up. Here was his soliloquy, word for word:

"There are multiple fouls on this play. [Big smile] Prior to the... prior to the... uh... the change of possession, personal foul, face mask, number 93 of the defense. [Big pause, deep breath] After the change in possession, illegal forward pass, number 50 [pause, another smile] of New... of New England. [Pause] At the tackle, personal foul, face mask, 15, of the Jets. [Pause, trying not to laugh] By rule, all those penalties will offset, and we'll repeat 3rd down."

OK, maybe not as exciting as an "unnatural act," but that was certainly a mouthful. By the way, Kevin Harlan pointed out the Jets don't have a #15. Please don't tell Triplette. He might throw a flag in your eye.

Don't Do Drugs. Except You.

2005-12-01T15:42:00.000-05:00

Well, my Sunday morning just got a lot quieter. Michael Irvin won't be appearing on ESPN this weekend. No word on the rest of the season, though if I were a magic 8-ball I'd probaly say "outlook grim."

I don't dislike Michael Irvin at all. I don't. Even though I'm a Giant fan. And if I had a Hall of Fame vote, I'd still put him in. Even with this. I think the motto for all drug-related Hall of Fame debates should be "Well, we put Lawrence Taylor in, so..." But I just can't stand him as a talking head. So I'll be glad if he becomes Countdown's next Rush Limbaugh.

Yankees Sign Amateur Wrestler

2005-12-01T01:50:00.000-05:00

Far be it from me to make fun of the Bronx Bombers for having a terrifically uneventful offseason, but I just love this signing. Kyle Farnsworth will eventually inspire a "Bronx Brawlers" back page at some point in 2006, and I personally can't wait till that happens. Previous combatants: Paul Wilson (top) and Jeremy Affeldt. Who will it be this year? Who knows. Oh, apparently the guy pitches, too. In fact, I think I remember him pitching in a big spot - the 2005 Division Series, if I recall. I vaguely remember him allowing a grand slam to Lance Berkman to cut a 5-run lead to 1. And I'm a bit fuzzy, but I seem to have this image of Brad Ausmus taking him deep an inning later to tie the game. But I'm sure he can handle the lower-pressure climate of New York. Should be entertaining, to say the least.

Wait, my bad. They also signed Kelly Stinnett. That'll put more fear in American League pitchers this year.

Seriously, though, with all this talk about that gaping hole in center field, and with almost a year having passed since the Yankees last acquired a big name, can Johnny Damon's press conference (and subsequent ceremonial shaving) be that far off?

Newsflash: They Have the Internet on Computers Now

2005-11-30T13:09:00.000-05:00

(For those who didn't get the above reference, click here.)

I've never cared much about the overexposure of Red Sox fans and their "Nation." Yes, the media seem to care more about what Joe Red Sox Fan is doing than what any other team's fans are doing, but since I'm not a Yankees fan, I guess it just never really bothered me. But today's ESPN.com is ridiculous. On the left is what passed for "news" today: A Sox fan started a web site asking Red Sox management to keep Manny Ramirez on the team. No. Freakin. Way. You mean a sports fan started a web site asking people in power to comply with what they want? Get outta here! Seriously, these sites have been around forever, including some of my favorites, fireronzook.com, firedrewrosenhaus.com, and, more recently, the petition for Jake Plummer to grow his moustache. To say nothing of the guy who tried to score a date with Natalie Portman via the now-defunct datemenatalie.com. I guess my point is this: the process has been going on forever - People in power have decision to make. Guy wants decision to go his way, starts web site. Other people agree with him, sign petition on web site. Why is this one news? Why is he on Cold Pizza tomorrow? And, most importantly, why does this bother me so much?

Reggie Bush Was Pretty Good in High School, Too

2005-11-30T10:03:00.000-05:00

ESPN (among others) is currently airing a series of Nike ads showing highlights from the high school careers of Michael Vick and LaDanian Tomlinson. Nice ads, and it is quite entertaining to see snippets of those guys at the high school level. But neither holds a candle to the Reggie Bush high school highlights, written about today in the New York Times, with the video linked from the article here. Take the time to watch this video; as the article says, "the footage of Bush... can induce dizzy spells, even for a jaded viewer numbed by hours of cable highlight shows." Translation: if it made my jaw drop, it should make yours as well.

Billy Wagner Is a Met

2005-11-28T16:42:00.000-05:00

Ed Coleman, reporting on WFAN minutes ago, says Billy Wagner is on his way to New York to finalize a deal that has already been agreed upon in principle to bring the market's top closer to Shea. Ken Rosenthal has the numbers: 4 years, 43 million.

Great signing. The only conceivable knocks on signing Billy Wagner are 1) He has blown big saves, and 2) 4 years are too many. Well, first of all, every closer - including the great Mariano - blows big saves. It's part of the job. You just hope that he gets his act together in October. I really believe that sometimes it's just potluck. Brad Lidge lost two games a month ago. You just never no, so better to roll the dice with someone you can have confidence in like Wagner, as opposed to someone you know will choke like Braden Looper or someone unproven like B.J. Ryan. And if giving that fourth year is what it takes, give it. Would any Met fan have been willing to not sign Pedro over that fourth year? Thought so. Great job by Omar again. He was the king of the 2004 Hot Stove Season, and is well on his way to repeating. Now get a catcher and a second baseman. And some bullpen help to get to Wagner. And maybe an outfield upgrade, from Boston....?

First Baseman... Number 21... Carlos Delgado

2005-11-28T13:08:00.000-05:00

OK, so one thing that happened during my blogging absence was the Mets trading for Carlos Delgado. Since the press conference is going on right now, I think now's a good time to address the deal. (Tangent: Carlos Delgado gets a press conference. OK, I get it. Though it's not being televised, which says something. Billy Wagner probably gets a press conference. If you get Manny, there is definitely a (televised) press conference. But somehwere, it stops. If they sign Tony Graffanino, I don't think there's a press conference. So I guess my question is this: Where's the line? Who's the least important player that would get to stand at a podium to meet the New York media? And how awkward would it be if someone overvalued himself, thinking he's getting one, only to find out otherwise? Rafael Furcal: "OK, Omar, thanks for everything. What time do you want me at Shea tomorrow?" Omar: "Um.....")

So he gets #21. I think he should be allowed to take #25 from Kaz Matsui. Not buy it, not trade for it, just take it. And Tony Paige got a question in! Good for him.

Anyway, about the deal. I hesitate to call it a "great trade." Mike Piazza for Preston Wilson, Ed Yarnall, and Geoff Goetz is a "great trade." Everything else falls short of that. This is a very good trade, though. Let me explain why. Here's the thing about prospects: you have no idea what they'll turn out to be. Bill Simmons addressed this issue well last week. How many Mets prospects have we heard about for years, and then either they fail with us, or they fail on another team? Alex Escobar, Octavio Dotel, Alex Ochoa, Generation K... shall I go on? Point is, you have to believe in your prospects (see: David Wright), but each one should have a price. Which brings me to Carlos Delgado. 1st baseman, huge power numbers (even in Florida), addresses a major Met need. And his off-the-field "issues" are completely overblown. He didn't want to come to New York? I think he'll find that if they're signing the paychecks, he'll get by. Wouldn't stand for God Bless America? He will on April 3rd, and that will be the last anyone hears about it. Let's face the facts: the Mets have been getting power for 8 years (well, almost 8 years, anyway) from the catcher position, which is pretty unusual. Floyd is on the downswing of his career. They needed power desperately. And it doesn't hurt to get it from a traditional power position. Too much money? Well, they just saved a little bundle on Cameron, Piazza's 13 mil a year is no longer, and the Marlins gave some cash back. So all things considered, Delgado is a good acquisition.

What about the price? Like I said earlier, every prospect should have a price. You want to tell me that the Mets shouldn't give up Lastings Milledge for Delgado? OK, I'll buy that. Don't trade him for Manny Ramirez? Idiocy. Manny Ramirez is still putting up Hall of Fame seasons. Name me the last position player to come out of the Mets system that had Hall of Fame seasons. Answer: Darryl Strawberry. They've still yet to trade a blue-chip minor-league hitter that has made them kick themselves. Not Escobar, not Wilson, not Terrence Long. What about Petit? Well, what about him. From what I've read about him, he's good, but he's no sure thing like Kazmir. And with other top pitchers just drafted (Phillip Humber, Mike Pelfrey), that makes him expendable. So if it takes him to get Delgado, so be it. And as for Mike Jacobs, at best he's going to be a nice player. The outrage over trading this kid is laughable. But he hit 11 home runs in 100 at bats! So did Benny Agbayani. Would you trade him for Delgado? Or Shane Spencer? Remember: Mike Jacobs wasn't such a touted minor leaguer; he happened to be on the bench when Willie asked him to pinch-hit and he hit a 3-run homer, then he went on a tear. That doesn't mean they just traded the next Mark McGwire. At worst, they traded the next Carlos Delgado. And the chances of that are slim. Like I said, very good trade.

What's next? Sounds like Omar is going to make a big run at Manny. Should be entertaining. Wagner, Ramon Hernandez, and Benjie Molina are all getting offers. Should be interesting. The third baseball season of 2005 is well underway.

The Couch Critic - Week 12

2005-11-28T08:02:00.000-05:00

Yesterday promised to be a good TV football day in the Student's Lounge. Two games featuring four good teams at 1, followed by a huge Giants game at 4. I decided to keep a running log of the games and their coverage. I'm calling it "The Couch Critic." Looking over it this morning, it's pretty interesting (to me, at least) to see how my thoughts about a game involving a team of mine evolve as the game goes on. Anyway, here's the first entry; click here to read the whole thing.
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12:55 - Welcome to the first (and possibly last) installment of The Couch Critic, my notations on the day's NFL action from where I'm sitting. Who cares what I have to say? Well, consider this in the spirit of George Costanza: "Maybe I could be like, an announcer. Like a color man. You know how I always make those interesting comments during the game." Disclaimer: I'm not sitting on a couch, rather a moderately comfortable desk chair. My room can't fit a couch, and I'm not moving the TV to the living room. I have a nice swivel move between the TV and the computer, so I'm sticking to that.

[MORE]
12:57 - Two nice appetizers before the main event at 4 (Giants at Seattle). On CBS we have New England at Kansas City; a pair of 6-4 teams that match up pretty well. On FOX, a pair of 7-3 teams: Tampa Bay at Chicago. Excellent game, but as a Giant fan I have no idea whom to root for. I guess I'll support the Bucs, since I "picked" them. (My picks, for no other purpose than picking them, have a lot of favorites... I liked the lines, I guess: KC -3.5, Carolina -3.5, Cincy -9.5, San Diego -3 (that one's a lock), Tampa Bay -3, Minnesota -4, Tennessee -9.5, St. Louis -3, Jacksonville -3.5, Miami +7 (I feel like Saban needs to prove something after that whole "who-cares-if-we-lose" fiasco), Philly -4, Jets +2, and Colts -8 (no line is safe with that team, especially at home). Yes, I left out the Giants. I can't objectively assess them. But, for the record, Giants +5.

1:00 - I'm glad FOX assigned Kenny Albert to the Bucs-Bears game. I'm guessing Buck and Aikman have the day off after working Thursday, so Stockton/Moose slide up to do the Giants-Seahawks game, giving Albert/Baldinger this one. The reason I'm glad is because if Kenny was assigned to, say, Titans/49ers, I think he'd have to kill himself dealing with the fact that he missed the most exciting Rangers game in years in order to cover a pair of 2-8 teams. (CBS has Enberg and Dierdorf. Which is a good thing, especially because Enberg thrives off crowd energy, which Kansas City fans always provide.)

1:10 - Did you know the Bears' front four had 8 sacks last week? Yeah, I did too, but I forgot until they sacked and stripped Simms at the 1-yard line. One play later, 7-0 Bears. This D-Line is playing like my Madden 2005 Giants team when I play on All-Pro (i.e. comically good). Why Madden 2005 and not 2006? Because I'm in Year 13, and I'll be damned if I buy a new version before I finish my 30 years.

1:19 - KC drives down the field quickly. 7-0 Chiefs. This crowd is pretty pumped up. I'm glad the Giants get them at home. Then again, Oakland won't be much better.

1:30 - Scanning out of town scores, I see Nate Kaeding just missed a 40-something yarder in calm wind. See, Jets fans? You still have something to smile about.

1:42 - Bucs FG, KC FG, 7-3 Bears, 10-0 Chiefs. By the way, both games are now in the 2nd quarter and I have yet to see a Game Break on either network. Boo. And Sportsline/NFL.com's scoreboard won't load the GameCenter for Vikings-Browns. Boo.

1:45 - One downside of the Colts having home-field advantage this year will be the absence of the great "Cut that meat!" chant Peyton Manning was subjected to last January in Foxboro. Though I guess "De-Caf!" doesn't have the same sharpness to it.

1:50 - Around the league... David Carr is channeling his inner Joe Montana against St. Louis: 7-10, 100 yards, 2 TDs, 14-0 Texans. Bet he's gonna love having Reggie Bush around to take some pressure off. And there go the Jets fans' smiles.

1:53 - Our games? Not so exciting. Chiefs have picked off Brady twice, lead 13-0. Meanwhile, Bears-Bucs is a defensive battle (no surprise there), with the only TD coming off a fumble inside the 5. If you took the over (31.5) you deserve this. Game Break! Tomlinson 1-yard TD. Yeah, that was worth showing.

2:05 - I was wrong. Buck and Aikman are, in fact, working (I assumed they weren't because Nantz and Simms are off, but OK...), they're just working Eagles/Packers. Wait, what? FOX assigns its #1 announcing team, fresh off a Thanksgiving stinker, to the 2-8 Packers and the Mike McMahon-led Eagles instead of a battle between two first-place teams? Does this make sense to anyone? Anyway, all this courtesy of The Flash, who subscribes to SportsWeekly, which provides announcer info. So we'll be getting Stockton/Moose with more Siragusa than we'll want. Fine. By the way, the other guy who missed the Garden Showdown last night (seriously, between the skates to win a 15-round shootout?!) is Sam Rosen, who is in Buffalo for Panthers-Bills. Missing that game last night must be killing him, especially since he's probably thinking, "Hey, three weeks ago I did a Rangers game in the Garden Saturday afternoon, then did a Giants game in San Francisco on Sunday afternoon, so why couldn't I do a Saturday night Ranger game and take the 1-hour red-eye to Buffalo?" By the way, I'm quite certain I'm the only person who cares about this. Besides Chris Russo.

2:13 - 24. Season 5. Frank? Jack! January can't come soon enough.

2:14 - Touchdowns coming in bunches now around the league, including Santana Moss's first one in over a month. Of course, our games are at 13-3 and 7-3, respectively. Meanwhile, a glance at the San Fran/Tennessee GameCenter shows the 49ers season in a nutshell:

1-10 - SF25 (3:59) K.Barlow right guard for 75 yards, TOUCHDOWN NULLIFIED by Penalty. PENALTY on SF-K.Harris, Offensive Holding, 10 yards, enforced at SF 25 - No Play.

1-20 - SF15 (3:46) K.Dorsey pass intended for B.Bajema INTERCEPTED by K.Bulluck at SF 23. K.Bulluck pushed ob at SF 7 for 16 yards (J.Smiley).

2:28 - Halftime pretty much everywhere. Low-scoring games, by and large (our games: 7 FG's, 2 TD's, many zzzzzzz's, while my "lock" of San Diego is losing). The most total points in any game at the half are the 27 in Texans/Rams game, with Houston holding a 24-3 lead. Carr's first half: 13/17, 171, 3 TDs. Ryan Fitzpatrick is playing quarterback for the Rams. I am not making this up. The only thing worse, in my mind, than a rookie quarterback being thrown into a losing game is a rookie quarterback from Harvard being thrown into a losing game. As a friend of mine once pointed out, do you think the Knicks' PA announcer had to retrain himself from laughter when introducing Chris Dudley "at 6'10" from Yale"? I mean, is there anything less intimidating than a center from Yale? I'm putting a quarterback from Harvard out there as a possibility. By the way, as the Texans roll over the Rams, two local thoughts just hit me: 1) This is great news for Jets fans, who can now be tied for first in the Reggie Bush sweepstakes by the end of the day, and 2) This is bad news for Giants fans, as a Rams loss means Seattle could clinch the division with a win today. Not that they're going to play any harder than they would have, but this doesn't really help.

2:36 - Chad Johnson's TD celebration du jour: scores, puts the ball on the ground, then putts it using the pylon as a club. My score: 9 out of 10. He shouldve found a hole to putt into. But give the guy credit: every week it's something else, and it's always entertaining. And he didn't resport to "Hey I'm playing in Baltimore, I'll just mimic Ray Lewis!" Side point: Minnesota/Cleveland GameCenter is up and running. My quesiton: who actually noticed and let them know there was a problem?

2:41 - Shows how much attention I'm paying to the KC/NE game on CBS: Dan Dierdorf isn't doing this game with Dick Enberg; on the receiving end of the "Oh my!"s today is none other than former QB Rich Gannon. I'm guessing this means he's not in the league anymore, though I'll bet Jets fans wish he was. Seriously, who'd you rather have at QB tonight: Brooks Bollinger or Rich Gannon? Oh right, you guys want to finish 2-14. My bad. Anyway, with Gannon in the booth, I'm gonna have to listen a little more carefully. And as I type this, he says "Will Shields, a perennial Pro Bowl." This 19-3 game may be worth watching after all.

2:49 - "Alex Brown should star in "Prison Break" because nobody would get away from him." -- Brian Baldinger, killing two birds with one stone. He made sure to continue his weekly tradition of working "Prison Break" into everything he sees in the 3 minutes following Kenny Albert reading that week's promo, and he continued his weekly tradition of being the most painfully unfunny football analyst on TV. By the way, think about his above statement. Alex Brown should star in Prison Break because nobody would get away from him. So Alex Brown should star as.... the prison?

3:09 - Bears 13, Bucs 10 after three quarters. 66 minutes until the Giants kickoff. Of course, what will undoubtedly happen will this game will get exciting in the 4th quarter, leading to a climactic final two minutes, which the New York market won't see because the Giant game will pre-empt it. Not that I'm complaining - I don't want to miss a second of the Giant game. But if you're gonna be a crappy game when I'm watching you, you'd better be a crappy game when I can't watch you due to network restrictions. Time to order pizza so it gets here in time for kickoff.

3:13 - Memo to San Diego offense: WAKE UP!!!

3:21 - Around the league.... Texans beating Harvard, 24-10... Definition of a FG battle: 9-6, Buffalo, mid-4th... Cincinnatti's 34-0 bashing of Baltimore led me to check the last time the Bengals shut out an opponent: 1989, Week 13, against Cleveland. 16 years since their last shutout, and they're a little more than one quarter away. If the 4th quarters of our games are boring (Tampa Bay just cut it to 13-10, though), I'll check if that's the longest a current team has gone without pitching a shutout. I'd have to think so.

3:26 - There goes the shutout. Now I'm going to check out of spite.

3:34 - Around the league... Brees picked off in the end zone, Ravens get another TD (shutout talk maybe a bit premature), despite their best efforts, Carolina gets a touchdown (on their fifth play of the drive inside the Buffalo 5), Harvard-led Rams cut Houston lead to 24-16. Meanwhile, Chris Simms is leading his second straight impressive drive. Turning into a good game, just in time to get me juiced up for (did I mention this yet?) Giants vs. Seahawks. By the way, I know the Giant game could get really ugly really quickly. I'm fully aware of this. But for now I'm just going to focus on the fact that the Giants are playing a game in Week 12 that could decide home-field advantage for the NFC.

3:41 - Bucs down 3, Simms leads a great drive, less than 3 minutes left, 29-yard FG attempt by Matt Bryant. Wide right. I feel bad for Tampa Bay fans right now, but as a Giants fan, I can't even pretend to act surprised. There's a good chance that kick keeps the Bucs out of the playoffs. And Bryant destroys yet another team's season. Amazing. The downside of this game getting good is that Pats/KC has been reduced to permanent picture-in-picture, so I can't keep track of Gannon's Grammar Gems.

3:51 - Fittingly, the game ends on a sack of Simms. By the way, when FOX just got back from commercial, the first shot was of a despondent Matt Bryant, leading to this exchange:
Kenny Albert (rhetorically): You know what Matt Bryant's thinking about.
Brian Baldinger: Yeah, he's thinking about that last missed field goal. This game could be tied up right now.

Why couldn't they show Kenny Albert's facial reaction to that? It was probably something like "Rangers kill off an overtime penalty, win a 15-round shootout, and I missed it to sit next to the world's biggest moron."

3:56 - KC beats New England, CBS switches to San Diego/Washingotn. Nice. Seems the San Diego offense got my memo, as Tomlinson just tied the game on a 32-yard TD run. After forcing a Redskins punt, they're driving for the win.

4:04 - Sean Springs may have just picked my lock of the week by picking off Bress with 65 ticks left.

4:09 - Chargers defense comes up huge, forces a 53-yard attempt from John Hall. No good. Bad day for former New York kickers continues. Unless Chargers can gain yards quickly (30 seconds left), this game will go into an unseen-by-New York OT. Meanwhile, Harvard-led St. Louis just cut it to 27-24. Of course, there's only 26 seconds left and... They recovered the onside kick! Woah! And now they're at the Houston 30! If the Texans lose this game and end up finishing 1-15, there needs to be an investigation into whether they lost this one on purpose. Redskins intercept hail mary, invisible overtime it is.

4:13 - Rams score 10 points in final 26 seconds, send game into OT. Dude.

4:15 - Goodbye Redskins/Chargers, we hardle knew ye... We'll follow ye on NFL.com. Time for the main event. And pizza arrived just in time. 2 questions about that: 1) how many times do you have to order the same thing before you can put your name on it? I'd love to save time by just calline and saying "Yeah, just send over a Student of The Game special." 2) How lazy am I that I ask for delivery when the pizza place is a 30-second walk from my apartment? Well, it's half laziness, half I-don't-want-to-miss-a-snap."

4:40 - Wow. FOX goes commercial-free for the first 14:17 of the 1st quarter, giving me little time to catch my breath. So here's why Tomlinson is an elite running back. He saves the game in overtime, wins a huge one for his team, and makes sure to cover the three-point spread in the process. What a guy. Then there's the Harvard-led Rams, who were down 24-3 at the half, 27-17 with a minute left, and won in OT, also on a TD (also covering a three-point spread. Amazing, by the way. When was the last time 2 games went into OT with a 3-point spread (thus increasing the odds of a push) and both end with the favorites getting 6 in OT?) Harvard rookie quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick's final line: 19/30, 310, 3 TDs, 1 INT, 1 W. Not bad at all. My apologies. No more Chris Dudley comparisons till next week.

4:41 - Oh right, the Giant game. Surprisingly, they've been stopping Shaun Alexander. Not surprisingly, Hasselbeck is picking on Corey Webster like he's one of the last O'Doyle brothers (O'Doyle rules!). Hard to hate the guy matched up with him, Joe Jurevicius (who just caught a 35-yard TD). Ex-Giant, plays hard, good guy, and tragic family stuff. Can't the Seahawks bring Koren Robinson back? That would make things easier. Other highlights so far: Burress has great hands, and a notable NFL record was set.... by a punter. Nice achievement, no question, but there has to be an asterisk when a punter sets a record for consecutive games. It's just not the same as a defensive end (Jim Marshall, previous record holder). To me, this is the football equivalent of breaking Cal Ripken's record by pinch-hitting in 2,633 straight games.

5:02 - 7 Giants penalties in 24 minutes. Wonderful. Most of those are false starts. Four, says Dick Stockton. Like I said earlier, this could get real ugly real fast. Around the league... well, it's hard to pay attention because 1) Giants are on, and 2) the other three games are awful. And now the Giants just got called for a false start ON A PUNT! AND AGAIN!! Someone needs to start passing out Prozac or Xanax or something on the sidelines. ENOUGH WITH THE FALSE STARTS!

5:08 - Time to see how I did in my early game picks. Won: KC, Carolina, Cincy (about that shutout...), San Diego (barely), Minnesota, Tennessee, Rams (see San Diego). Lost: Tampa Bay. Wow. Only Matt Bryant kept me from being 8-0 in the early picks. Giants force, recover fumble. Bout time something went right there.

5:15 - I have absolutely no idea how the Giants recovered that Manning fumble. Is it just me or does Manning seem to fumble more than any QB in the league? And that time he wasn't even hit! AND ANOTHER FALSE START! 7 today. At least 4 of those on Pettigout, who needs to be put out of his misery. I can't remember hating another New York Giant more. Wait, we had Ron Dayne.

5:27 - Giant game: Flag, flag, flag. Meanwhile, the offense isn't playing too well, but showing that it might be good enough to win later in this game. Tiki hit 1,000 yards, yay. Around the league... seems Byron Leftwich left the game, wonder how serious that is. Samkon Gado: 14 carries, 90 yards, TD. Gotta love this guy.

5:37 - While this Shockey TD is under review, a quick thought on what just happened. Shockey caught (maybe) the ball in the end zone, then got pounded by Marquand Manuel, knocking the ball loose. Despite the refs' signal that it was a TD, Manuel picked it up and ran it out, all the way to the 30 before he listened to the whistles. One quesiton for Mr. Manuel, though: what are you running with? If the ball was knocked out before Shockey had possession, it's incomplete. And if it's knocked out after he had possession, it's a touchdown. How could someone catch a ball in the end zone and fumble it? Anyway, TOUCHDOWN! Give the Giants credit; it looks like they're gonna make this a fight. Halftime. Gonna go check last time _________ shut out an opponent.

6:00 - And the second half has started. I can't believe the Giants actually are leading right now, but then again, the defense is playing relatively well, the offense began to click a little, and if they can stop committing penalties and make a few big plays (and not let Alexander break loose), they could definitely win this thing. And apparently there are other games going on as well. The Dolphins just sacked Kerry Collins in the end zone; 16-7 Miami.

6:21 - I'm not slowing down, I just have less to say. Close game, Manning just threw a costly interception. How costly it turns out to be depends on what Seattle can do with the ball and good field possesion. They haven't done much since that first TD drive; if they don't get points now, I'd be concerned.

6:24 - Good morning, Shaun Alexander. Please just hit the snooze and go back to sleep. TD, Seahawks. Pick? Costly.

6:29 - Near-INT, Tiki sidelined, false start, crowd frenzied, 3rd and 13. Should've been 3 and out, instead Manning completes to Burress. Gotta take momentum back here. Never mind. No momentum can be gotten when Petitgout and Diehl give 5 yards back every 4 downs. And another flag! That Manning INT is gonna be analyzed to death tomorrow.

6:38 - The results are in. Sure enough, the Bengals have gone the longest without shutting out an opponent, their last one coming in Week 13 of 1989, when they whitewashed Cleveland. But the next-longest one might surprise you: Washington, which hasn't shut out an opponent since Week 5 of 1991 (Redskins 23, Eagles 0). Then Arizona (Week 15, 1992), Minnesota (Week 14, 1993), and New Orleans (Week 17, 1995). All four recent expansion teams since then (Carolina, Jacksonville, Baltimore, Houston) have all forced the opposition to put up a 0.

6:42 - 14 penalties. And yet Manning-to-Burress can make 1st and 20 disappear.

6:57 - 4th and inches at the Giants 4 (play under review, the spot will stand; Holmgren was going to take a timeout anyway, so why not at least give the challenge a shot). I say go for it. The Giants defense is good, but they've been missing tackle after tackle, and odds are you're gonna get the inches you need in any case. By the way, Dick Stockton is lost. It's 14-13 Seahawks right now. First he says, "If Seattle kicks a field goal, they'll make it a two possession game ." Huh? OK, he corrected himself. But then, when debating whether to go for it on 4th, "If they get the touchdown, then it's a two posession game." Because there's no possible way to get 8 points in one possession, right? Oh. Forgive the bitterness, this game is getting tough to take. I think whether I watch the Jets game completely depends on the outcome of this game. If the Giants win, I'll be excited to watch another football game, even if it involves the Jets and Saints. If they lose, I'll need the stacked Sunday night lineup of The Simpsons/Family Guy/Desperate Housewives/Curb to distract me from what will certainly br a difficult defeat.

7:05 - Again with the "two scores"!! Memo to Dick Stockton: They play with the 2-point conversion now. They have since 1994. Wake the hell up.

7:07 - I swear, every time the Giants start a play, I hear whistles, even when there aren't any. That's how this game has been going.

7:16 - OK, another review, and who knows if this one will stand or not. But I must say, atrocious job by Stockton and Moose. Any football fan worth his salt remembers the game a few weeks ago when the Saints got screwed by an absolutely awful call. Ernie Conwell was down, a Rams player picked the ball off of him and ran it in to the end zone. The play started before the 2:00 mark in the 4th quarter and ended inside 2:00, with Jim Haslett out of challenges. So what everyone learned that day is the rule that if the play starts outside of 2 minutes, it's a coach's challenge, and inside of 2 minutes is a booth review. But Stockton was busy telling the world that because the play ended inside 2 minutes, it was going to be reviewed by the booth. Awful job. In his defense, Larry Nemers, today's referee, misled everyone when, after reviewing the spot of the 4th down, announced, "Seattle has used its second challenge," when their "first challenge" was actually a booth review on Shockey's 1st-half touchdown. So Holmgren did have his second challenge, which is fine if he didn't know that (thanks to Nemers), but then Stockton's response should have been along the lines of "Well, this can't be challenged by Holmgren (he has none left) nor the booth (the play started outside of 2 minutes).

7:25 - After all that drama, I can't believe a) The Giants got that touchdown; b) they converted the neccesary 2-point conversion; c) the defense just forced a quick 3-and-out. Then again, I should start believing; they did the exact same thing against Dallas and Denver. Now, barring a Bledsoe-esque bonehead play (and against Seattle, you never know), the Giants either win or force OT. What a finish. By the way, it should be noted that this is maybe the finest games of Jeremy Shockey's career, edging out the season-ender against Philly in 2002.

7:30 - No good. Both the field goal and the Giants' chances right now. That was it, they had their chance. Now Alexander will pull a Tomlinson, and we'll have our 3rd OT TD of the day. Lost the toss. Game Over. Side point: Very nice of you, FOX, to have a virtually commercial-free 1st quarter, but did it need to be at the expense of the 4th quarter? Ever hear of setting up the situation? Commercial ends, - BAM! - ball is snapped. Next time just don't even show it. Like the way you miss pitches in the freakin' World Series.

7:36 - On a happier note, I've never had a better week for picks (again, for no other purpose than to pick games. Seriously. With picks like these, I wish I would've put money down.) In the late games, I won with Jacksonville, Miami, and Philly. I have the Giants +5, but I still think Seattle is getting a TD here. Barring that, I'll be 11-1 going into tonight.

7:38 - Bottom line: when you need a play to be made, get the ball in the hands of Burress. Another false start. I'm sure Coughlin will go easy on Luke in practice this week. And if the Giants win the division, thank Tim Carter, who just recovered what would've been a huge Shockey fumble.

7:40 - I've started to tape PrimeTime already. Win or lose, I have no idea if I can stomach it this evening. Maybe after the late SportsCenter.

7:45 - Yet another booth review. Here's something to pass the time: ESPN put up a graphic with some notes about our Harvard friend, Ryan Fitzpatrick. 1st Harvard QB to ever play in the NFL. 1 of 3 active NFL players from Harvard. 250th pick out of 255 in the 2005 Draft. And the 14th of 14 QBs selected. And now he has one more win than the 2 first-rounders, Alex Smith and Aaron Rodgers.

7:49 - Feely misses. Again. Defense needs to come up huge. Again. It should be noted that both Tony Siragusa on the TV side and Dick Lynch on the radio side interrupted the play-by-play to call the field goal no good. See, that's no good. Let the play-by-play guy call the plays. Granted, it was out of character for Siragusa, but Lynch does this on a regular basis.

7:58 - The return of Thunder and Lightning! Can't you feel the symmetry? Ron Dayne with a huge run in OT on Thursday, and now Tiki with a huge run in OT today. And for the record, I started typing that before Dick Stockton brought it up. First 100-yard rusher Seattle has allowed all season. Even if it did take an extra period.

8:00 - Third time's a charm? Oh for goodness' sake. Bring back Matt Bryant.

8:04 - You give a team that many chances, that's what's gonna happen. Terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible loss. Give credit to Manning, Tiki, Burress, and Shockey for doing everything they could to win this game. Give credit to the defense for standing tall as many times as you could expect them to. Blame Feely. And nobody but Feely. He lost this game. 3 times. 3 times! The weird thing is, I feel like the Giants answered the question of whether they can beat a quality opponent on the road with a yes. Sure, they didn't get the win, but the team proved they can win. I know theoretics don't count. I'm fully aware of that fact. But I have a lot more confidence in the team as a whole to win on the road, Manning specifically, then I did this morning.

So the Seahawks will get home-field advantage in the NFC, and the Giants and Cowboys will duke it out for the division next week. Maybe the Giants end up with the 2 or 3 seed, and end up back at Qwest Field with something to prove. And maybe they'll play disciplined and actually convert a field goal when it counts.

One final, Simmons-esque thought just came to me: you think opposing players who see Feely now will give him the Jim Levenstein treatment and hold up three fingers in the air, mocking him, as if to say, "Three times?"

This concludes The Couch Critic for this week. I just can't stomach watching Saints/Jets. Not after this. I'll probably flip to it during commercials, maybe keep it in picture-in-picture. But my mind won't be rational enough to do another three hours of this. Maybe tomorrow night, if I feel like it. But this was fun. Until the end, of course. Anyway, I'm outta here. Wait, false start!

I'm Back, Baby!

2005-11-28T07:23:00.000-05:00

So one thing I've discovered about blogging is there's something worse than writing something pointless, or offensive, or just plain stupid: writing nothing at all. Especially when you're someone like me, who gets too busy to write for a day or two, but then the things I would have written stay in my head, and then as the days go on, I feel the need to write those thoughts along with the new thoughts from the current day, and then it just seems too daunting so I promise myself I'll post a flurry of items that night, except that it always seems like too much so I push it off. (For the record, that run-on sentence was deliberate; I'm trying to illustrate the run-on thought in my head.) Anyway, with three different people asking me why haven't I posted in awhile, I guess today is as good as any to get back into it. Mets have the Delgado press conference, Knicks and Rangers gave MSG one of its greatest days in a long time, and then there are the New York football teams. Ugh. More on that soon.

Morning Musings

2005-11-18T08:29:00.000-05:00

I was listening to halftime of the Knicks-Lakers game the other night on ESPN Radio. Halftime in the Knicks-on-WFAN days meant first half analysis and an interview. Seemed pretty standard. But on 1050, they actually play highlights from the first half. Bizarre on two accounts. Firstly, I've never in my life heard radio highlights played before the game is actually over. Secondly, playing basketball highlights as a companion to a recap just doesn't work. If you don't believe me, hear for yourself. (WFAN never did it, by the way.) Obviously, post-game highlights fit best with baseball. It works well with football, too. With hockey, you just play the goals (or the rare out-of-this-world save). Trying to recap a basketball game and play accompanying highlights just doesn't flow.

When you listen to as much WFAN as I do, certain commercial jingles tend to get stuck in your head to the point you start humming them everywhere and can't shake it off. This has happened with many ads over the years, but the latest one is definitely the most disturbing. You know the jingle I'm talking about: it ends with "I've...... got gas!"

Doug Christie has a sore right ankle, and is going to miss some time. Key words in the brief article: "sidelined indefinitely" and "returning to his home." I don't know about you, but I'm glad he's going to get to spend more quality time with his wife. Those road trips were really taking a toll on her. Hey, whatever happened to that reality show?

Is it possible to get into college basketball before January? Didn't think so.

David Duval is still alive. And on a leaderboard. Good for him. It seems like only yesterday he was being called "the Arnold to Tiger's Jack." Yes, there was a time when he was going to be Tiger's rival for life. Not only did it not work out like that, Duval dropped off the golf radar completely. Hopefully he can make it back all the way; it's only six years since he was #1 in the world.

Fighting Is the New Black

2005-11-18T08:04:00.000-05:00

Terrell Owens is many things, and now you can add "trendsetter" to the list.

One of the last straws with the Eagles was a well-documented altercation with team "ambassador" Hugh Douglas. (What does a football team's ambassador do, anyway? Spread good will to Paraguay?) Now it seems everyone in sports trying to get in on the fighting thing...

There was that Bears offensive line thing, with the 5-pound weight, the broken jaw, and the FBI. OK, two burly linemen get into it. Understandable.

Then yesterday, two Bengals backups brawl. OK, two tough players, a little over-aggressive maybe, fired up for a Huge Game on Sunday, get into it. I can hear that.

And then it extended to coaches! "...running backs coach Wilbert Montgomery and offensive coordinator Steve Fairchild square[d] off briefly in practice on Wednesday." Wow, this must be some exciting trend if even coaches are picking up on it! Well, it is the Rams, so I guess I can see that.

And in a true, can't-miss sign that this is a real trend, fighting has extended to other sports, namely, that bastion of ill will and animosity, women's golf. Though it wasn't an all-out brawl, instead labeled by the media as a "feud" or "dispute," the LPGA Royal Rumble can't be too far off.

Least Surprising Headline Ever

2005-11-17T08:03:00.000-05:00

"Tyson dinner ends in mass brawl"

Leave it to Iron Mike to turn even the British into uncivilized thugs.

Mid-Afternoon Musings

2005-11-16T15:47:00.000-05:00

Bob Sheppard is retiring as public address announcer for the Giants. Hopefully he'll soon retire from his other job as well. With the Yankees. Bob Sheppard. Retiring. Bob Sheppard.

Rachel Nichols, on last night's Outside the Lines Nightly, reporting on the one-year anniversary of the Malice at the Palace: "While most of the focus of that night has been on the key players involved, they represent only a small proportion of those affected." Proportion? Are usage skills no longer a prerequisite to be an ESPN reporter? I'll give her a pass though; she usally does good work.

Chris Russo just called Ron Insana "Ron Insania." No big surprise there.

Donovan McNabb is out with a pulled groin. I can never hear of this kind of injury without thinking of a line from "Spin City" (credit to my buddy Flash for keeping this quote alive): "I pulled my groin. It felt so good I pulled it again."

Speaking of which, thanks to Mister Irrelevant for reminding everyone that McNabb was destined for this injury by letting himself be on the cover of this year's Madden.

Scott Boras is asking 7 years/84 million for Johnny Damon. Crazy nutjob, or smart agent trying to make 5 years/50 million seem reasonable?

Red Sarachek passed away on Monday. More on this later.

Don't Go There

2005-11-16T14:19:00.000-05:00

The last time Mike Cameron played in a Major League Baseball game, it was in San Diego. If you don't remember it, perhaps the collage on your left will refresh your memory. Could it be the next game he plays will also be there? (Giants at Padres, April 3rd, in case you were wondering.) Metsblog.com is all over the latest rumors, which are slowly turning into facts. Aside from the fact that personally I don't like any of the trades suggested, it bothers me more that the Mets could be cruel enough to make Cameron play 81 games in a building he could've been brain damaged in.

UPDATE: Congratulations to Xavier Nady, the first New York Met in history to have either of his names begin with the letter X.

Two Great Videos

2005-11-15T09:13:00.000-05:00

A bit off-topic, but last night I saw two videos on the internet that I think should be shared. You need to be part of a specific audience, however, to appreciate them.

If you grew up with "Full House," as I did, check this out. Brings back memories.

On a more obscure level, if the words "All Your Base Belong to Us" mean anything to you, click here. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about and want to get in on the joke, you're quite late, but here's a good place to catch up.)

A Win Is a Win

2005-11-15T08:57:00.000-05:00

Well, the Mets started out 0-5 and turned out a decent season, maybe the Knicks can do the same. I was watching MNF, but had the GameCenter on my computer. I couldn't believe what I was seeing: 37-36... at halftime? 55-44... after 3 quarters? I can't believe anybody enjoyed watching that game (73-62 final, by the way). Oh, congrats to the Knicks for allowing the fewest points they ever have, I guess. This is the first time in my life I can remember being more interested in the New York Rangers than the Knicks. But the Knick win is very encouraging. In the immortal words of Lou Brown, "We won today. If we win tomorrow, that's two in a row. That's a winning streak, and who knows what will happen."

Taking it a Bit Too Far, Maybe?

2005-11-15T08:33:00.000-05:00

After seeing clips of the T.O. funeral on "Monday Night Countdown" last night, I wanted to see some follow-up on the event. I wasn't expecting this: a different radio station, 102.9 WMGK, also pulled a stunt, though with bigger ramifications. It seems "Thud," a DJ at the station, was arrested yesterday morning "for trying to push a 6-foot-4, cotton-stuffed T.O., which he'd kicked there from Love Park, into the Delaware (River). Sam Hagopian, as he's formally known, was cuffed and taken to DRPA headquarters in Camden. Hagopian, 24, has a court date Monday on a charge that he created a substantial risk to the public." What risk to the public is there in pushing an effigy into a river? I'm sure the guy checked that the water below was clear of ships.

Update: Ben Maller links to some fantastic pics of the stunt.

Welcome back, Bluths?

2005-11-14T16:43:00.000-05:00

It pained me to break the news to people on Friday, be it via IM, phone, or the blog, about the cancellation of "Arrested Development." Therefore, it pleases me to be the bearer of good... rumors. From the good folks at TVsquad.com:

There's an interesting rumor going around the industry: Showtime is interested in getting Arrested Development.
OK, for now it's still in that "rumor" stage, but the SF Chronicle's Tim Goodman answers several questions about the show's FOX demise, and it says that it actually makes sense for Showtime to pick up the show. Nothing for certain yet, but there seems to be at least a faint pulse to the show this week when last week it was flatlining.

I agree with that last point. Rumors this early are very encouraging. And Showtime would mean no commercials. But if Showtime in fact picks it up, I'm hoping one thing doesn't change: the bleeping. Just because they can use swear words doesn't mean they should. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against obscenities on TV; quite the contrary, I think when used well, swear words heighten the comedy on a show like "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and the drama on "The Sopranos." But part of the brilliance of "AD" on Fox was evading the censors by using the bleeps and pixelation (especially on Buster's stub), to the point that last week's narration even included "I can't believe we had to bleep that!" Hopefully that won't change.

The Definition of Value

2005-11-14T14:02:00.000-05:00

Funny thing about this year's American League "MVP": when I (along with every Yankees, Mets, Red Sox and other baseball fan) look back on Alex Rodriguez's 2005, here's what I recall: Rodriguez struck out swinging; Rodriguez hit by pitch; Rodriguez struck out swinging; Rodriguez grounded into double play third to second to first, Jeter out at second; Rodriguez grounded out to third; Rodriguez walked; Rodriguez walked; Rodriguez walked; Rodriguez grounded out to third; Rodriguez doubled to deep right; Rodriguez struck out looking; Rodriguez walked; , Rodriguez singled to shallow left center; Rodriguez grounded out to shortstop; Rodriguez flied out to left; Rodriguez struck out looking; Rodriguez walked; Rodriguez walked; Rodriguez popped out to second; Rodriguez struck out swinging; Rodriguez hit by pitch; Rodriguez grounded out to shortstop; and of course, Rodriguez grounded into double play third to second to first, Jeter out at second. Totals: 2-15, 0 RBI

And just for good measure: Cabrera safe at first on 3rd baseman Rodriguez's fielding error; and of course, Rodriguez caught stealing, catcher to shortstop.

But it's not like all this happened during an important 5-game stretch or anything.

Another Heat Legend Honored

2005-11-14T10:51:00.000-05:00

College basketball superstars who are drafted by the Miami Heat will have one less number to choose from. The Heat currently have one retired number: the #23 worn by famed Heat player Michael Jordan. Well, this season another number joins Jordan's: Dan Marino's #13. Yes, the football player. I guess with no legends and no titles, Miami figured they should have something hang in the American Airlines Arena rafters. Great line in the article: "Hard to believe they passed on the chance to retire the jersey of the only NBA player ever named Bimbo."

Comment Moderation Off!

2005-11-11T15:02:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the good folks at Faith and Fear in Flushing, I just realized that I needed to "approve" comments before they would be posted. Fixed that, so comment away.

Metaphorically speaking, I may have started moving into this blog 11 days ago, but I still need to install electricity and plumbing. I'll get around to it soon enough.

I'll Drink to That

2005-11-11T14:04:00.000-05:00

Bobby Valentine now has a beer named after him in Japan. And to think, BoBeer could've been huge in New York in 1999 and 2000. I like Bobby V, and I know he likes Japan, but can't we all agree Major League Baseball is more fun with him in it? And while we're here, can't we also agree that he was far better than Larry Bowa on "Baseball Tonight"? Come back, Bobby. And bring a keg of BoBeer with you.

Update: Apparently alcohol-related product news comes in bunches. Drinking contest: BoBeer vs. Larry Bird's wine.

Major Props Department

2005-11-11T11:05:00.000-05:00

I never envisioned any real exposure for this blog, but thanks to Jamie Mottram, aka Mr. Irrelevant, Student of The Game got a screenshot shout-out on this morning's "Cold Pizza." ... (Although cynics would point out that Cold Pizza might not count as "real exposure"... and they'd probably be right, unless you get something like this.) Check out Jamie's twice-weekly podcast, Sports Bloggers Live, here. As of this writing, it's the only place on the web to hear Ron Artest freestyle rapping.

Bye Bye, Bluths

2005-11-11T10:24:00.000-05:00

The hits just keep on coming. First Gary Cohen leaves the radio booth, then FOX goes ahead and cancels "Arrested Development". That this news comes the same day as they decide that fans running onto the field is acceptable television is purely coincidental, but at the same time it's truly appropriate. Who has room on the schedule for the smartest TV comedy to come along in years when you can air new episodes of"Stacked" or "The War at Home"? I actually tried to watch "The War at Home" (sucked in by the "Simpsons" lead-in). It was beyond dreadful. There are still 8 episodes of AD left to air, and my advice to the television--viewing world is to cherish them. America is stupid, so smart shows are going to become extinct. First this, whither "Scrubs"? At least one good thing will come of this: the writers will find a way to take a few shots at the network on the way out. And if there is a television God, this show will land on cable somewhere.

Leave It to Fox...

2005-11-11T10:05:00.000-05:00

I remember the first time I watched a Met game with my father that was interrupted by a fan running onto the field. (Actually, I remembering this happen a lot when I was younger, especially when I was at the game; tickets were cheaper, as was the beer, and the Mets were bad enough to make the cop/fan chase the most exciting part of the outing.) Anyway, we knew the stoppage on the field was due to a fan because the announcers were talking about it, though the cameras weren't on him. I asked my dad why they didn't show him. Dad, ever the seasoned vet, replied that if a fan running onto the field was shown on TV, it would only encourage more morons to do the same. As long as I've been watching sports, that's always been the philosophy. Until now. From today's Orlando Sun-Sentinel:

The networks are thinking twice about whether to show fans running onto the playing field during games.

Fox boss David Hill said that his network has changed its policy and will allow cameras to broadcast intrusions live.

The thinking: viewers deserve to understand why there's been an interruption in a game.

At the risk of sounding Mushnick-esque, um, isn't that why the announcers are there? They can just go into their "some idiot has had too much to drink" routine, and we can figure out the rest. Why do we need to see this? Don't get me wrong -- I would love to see the fan/police chase which inevitably ends with with a big police takedown (or the occasional linebacker takedown), I just think that showing them will, in fact, encourage more fans to do so, and more stoppages will ensue.

The Third Season

2005-11-11T09:16:00.000-05:00

As a Met fan, I'm glad to see Omar Minaya is a busy, busy man. From Metsblog.com (which is proving to be the best place to go for all things hot stove):

Appearing on ESPN News, ESPN’s Peter Gammons mentioned that Mets GM Omar Minaya has been the busiest person at the GM meetings. Gammons added that he believes this is indicative of how the Mets will behave the entire off-season…

And then there's today's Daily News:

General Manager Omar Minaya and aide Tony Bernazard were planning on leaving the GM meetings in Indian Wells, Calif., today and going to Yuma, Ariz., to meet face-to-face with free agent catcher Bengie Molina, according to sources at the meetings. It's believed it's more of a "getting to know you" session. The Mets weren't expected to make an offer yet.

Last week Minaya was in Virginia at the home of Wagner, and the Mets are almost certainly going to make him an offer. And a trade with Tampa Bay is the hottest rumor out there. And of course, there's the Manny situation. I'm not saying Omar is going to dominate this offseason like he did last year's, but it seems that he definitely wants to. And the travelling from place to place is a good thing. Remember, when he went to the Dominican Republic last year, good things happened.

Water Hockey

2005-11-10T11:35:00.000-05:00

No doubt you've forgotten that the Winter Olympics are right around the corner (February 10th). Well, it seems the host city of Turin has as well. While the new hockey arenas in Turin are "state of the art," they just can't seem to stop that danged ice from melting. Shouldn't be a problem, though. I'm sure if Jaromir Jagr slips through the thin ice and tears up his knee in a Czech preliminary match, the Rangers won't be fazed at all.

RIP, T.O.

2005-11-10T09:27:00.000-05:00

Last year, WFAN hosts Sid Rosenberg and Joe Benigno presided over a "funeral" for the NHL, complete with eulogies, mourners, and a casket. WIP in Philadelphia must have been listening. Today, Howard Eskin, WIP host, will host a "funeral" for Terrell Owens. Fans are being asked to toss jerseys into the casket, after which they will be donated to the homeless (the jerseys, not the fans).

(via Ben Maller)

Will He Let Howie Long Be the GM?

2005-11-10T00:46:00.000-05:00

Look closely at that man on the left. He might be sitting between Dan Snyder and Jerry Jones at an NFL owners meeting in the future. That's right, Terry Bradshaw has expressed interest in buying the Saints, making contact with potential investors. From the article: “I’ve gotta line up the money first and make sure I’ve got the money. And then from there...you gotta find out what Mr. Benson wants to do,” Bradshaw said. “It’s his team.”

Maybe, but count me among those who hope it becomes Bradshaw's team. Sure, I'd miss his crazy highlights every Sunday, but consider the potential payoff: JB and Howie presenting Bradshaw with the NFC Championship trophy on the field, and the subsequent interview. Wait, with the Saints that's asking a bit much. Well, maybe he can bring Jimmy Johnson back into coaching. Or bring Ricky Williams back to New Orleans. Put it this way: this has Mark Cuban potential written all over it.

Gary Speaks

2005-11-09T14:47:00.000-05:00

From NY Sports Day (via Metsblog)

“I am just thrilled to be part of this new venture,” Cohen said in a conference call earlier today. “[SportsNet NY] is dedicated to making this the best regional sports network in the nation. For me, this gives me the opportunity to make the transition from radio to television, while maintaining my bond with the Mets. I look forward to the challenge.”

Well, at least there's one saving grace:

According to SportsNet NY’s president John Litner, Cohen will be allowed to speak his mind and able to criticize the team when needed, which is in contrast to other local sports outlets.

Hmmmmm.... what other local sports outlets could they be talking about?

UPDATE: Faith and Fear in Flushing, the best Mets blog on the web, weighs in. Money quote:

But those of us who live the Mets are at a loss. We consider the radio to be our oxygen, our atmosphere. We don't make a move without it. It would be disingenuous to suggest we'll be withdrawing all our AA batteries now and saving them for the next blackout. No, we'll listen to whoever does Mets games because we are Mets fans. But they'll just be baseball broadcasts. They won't be a way of life.

Just Look at the Damn Sign!

2005-11-09T10:21:00.000-05:00

Ah, that Keyshawn Johnson. Always knows how to handle the media. When things with T.O. went sour, naturally reporters went to Keyshawn, another loudmouth receiver whose attitude got him in hot water. His response?

He posted a sign on his locker that read, "NOT MY PROBLEM," and pointed to it when asked his thoughts about Owens and the Eagles.

At least he kept his mouth shut.

Sad Day in Mets History

2005-11-09T08:43:00.000-05:00

I haven't cried over anything involving the Mets since Kenny Rogers walked Andruw Jones. (The 2000 World Series was over too quickly to be as devastating as '99 was, in case you were wondering.) This morning I feel like crying, and by April I might. Usually I read the morning New York papers in November to see who the Mets might be looking at or what teams are eyeing Mets prospects. This morning's New York Post brought the worst offseason news I've ever dealt with as a Mets fan: Gary Cohen is leaving the radio booth, and taking the innocence of millions of Mets fans with him.

Now, before I get accused of overreacting, two things need to be said. Firstly, he's still a Met announcer, just in the TV booth. If you read the above paragraph, I made it seem like he's leaving the Mets altogether. This was done intentionally, to prove a point: a simple booth switch is not so simple. Secondly, I can't blame Gary himself for the move; he owes it to himself and his family to do what's best for him careerwise, and if he considers this a step up, then so be it.

I grew up with Gary Cohen under my pillow, talking me to sleep through the days of Keith and Gary leaving the team, Anthony Young's 27 consecutive losses, and Vince Coleman's explosiveness. In 1999, when we realized we might be having a special Mets year, my brother and I began recording Gary's calls during the highlight shows, ultimately making a casette of the best calls. We did the same in 2000. For us, as I'm sure was the case with many, a classic Met moment may have been produced on the field, but it was concretized for eternity by a classic call. Pratt's home run. Grand Slam Single. Piazza caps a 10-run inning. Agbayani. NL Champs. And all the little calls that may mean nothing to the world, but you remember it because of where you were and what you were doing when you heard the call. Those calls will continue no longer.

Friends of mine from out-of-town tell me Gary Cohen is the best radio play-by-play guy they've ever heard. Yankee fans tell me he's the best radio play-by-play guy in the business. Everyone believes it, and with good reason. It's true. In 17 years, he has established himself as someone who embodies every single possible thing you could want in a baseball radio announcer. Some time ago, I listed these things in a long letter to him explaining why I liked him so much and respected his work. I never sent it. I wish I had. Maybe if he understood how much his being on the radio meant to Met fans, he'd take one for the proverbial team.

When the emotional shock wears off, I'll take the time to explain from a more logical perspective why Gary's switch to TV is such a big one. But in the meantime, my life as a Met fan will never be the same. I wish I could say that's an overstatement, but it's not. I know many Met fans of my generation will agree.

Thanks for the radio memories, and good luck, Gary. With bittersweetness, I look forward to not muting my TV in April.

Never Dull When Dennis Is in the House

2005-11-09T07:27:00.000-05:00

In-studio guests rarely appear on WFAN. That's fine; after all, it is radio. It should be noted, though, that approximately 100 times out of 100, the in-studio guest is there to promote something. The philosophy is simple, if slightly irrational: "well, ordinarily we wouldn't have this person on the show, he's not really relevant to sports anymore and he only wants to promote his new book/organization, but if he's willing to appear in studio, book him!" Granted, sometimes it's worth it because of the quality of the guest: Dick Enberg, Oscar Robertson, Freddy Adu. But more often than not, it's shameless on the part of the station. Yesterday was the best example I've seen in quite some time, when Dennis Rodman spent a few minutes with Joe Benigno. (I'm sure his agent was hoping for Mike and Chris, but they would never take him.) The 27 minutes of content that followed were bizarre, to say the least. Not to mention quite vulgar and vaguely racist. WFAN should be taken to task for lowering themselves this much; 27 minutes of Benigno Jet-ranting would have been more acceptable to listeners than this wack-job plugging his book. Anyway, in case you want to listen for yourself, the interview is here. If you don't have time and just want to know what he said, here are the top ten quotes:

"I think 1 out of 10 people in the world have met Dennis Rodman and partied with Dennis Rodman and they would tell you the one thing about me - I'm very, very good."

"I don't need a relationship with David Stern. I made too much money for the NBA. I don't need a relationship with anybody. So just have a good time baby."

(On playing again) "I don't need to get 20 rebounds. All I got to do is sit on the bench and I'll fill the stands. How bout that? I'll be way better than the guys on the bench right now."

"A lot of NBA teams don't want Dennis Rodman, just because I'm... I'll call myself too famous. Too famous. I don't need to be in this game anymore because I'm too famous for this game. I'm too big for this game."

"If you gave me a contract today, the minimum's what? Half a million, if that? They can take the money and shove it up their ass. I just go play just for the hell of it."

(To Benigno): "Are You Jewish? Just making sure. [Benigno: What's wrong with being Jewish? It's a good thing!] It's a good thing. All black guys need a Jew."

Note: This comment was so random and confusing, I'm Jewish and I'm not even sure if I should be offended.

(On a suggested boxing match between himself and Charles Barkley): That fatass did not want to box me for 3 rounds, they were gonna pay us a million dollars. I said, 'you know what Charles, it ain't about the money, they want to see us kick each other's ass. How bout that?' And all of a sudden Jose Canseco got in the picture, I said, 'all right, great. Lemme kick his ass.' That's kinda cool."

(On playing for Utah): "There ain't no money in the world gettin me back in the Mormon area."

(On athletes' "bad boy" image): "Terell Owens right now, dude I can't believe that one. That's kind of wack. I like Terrell Owens, I know Terrell real good, it's like oooooooh, guy, what is really going on right now."

Note: If Dennis Rodman is calling an action of yours, "kind of wack," it's time to re-evaluate things.

And to top it all off...

"I don't screw anything that's ugly."
-----------
Be sure to listen tomorrow when Tom Cruise will be in studio discussing psychiatry with Joe at 11:30.

TMQ Stifled

2005-11-08T14:37:00.000-05:00

I've been reading Gregg Easterbrook's "Tuesday Morning Quarterback" column since the Slate days. I loyally followed him to a natural new home, ESPN's Page 2, and when he got unfairly dismissed by ESPN, I was among many who couldn't wait until TMQ landed somewhere. That somewhere, unfortunately, was NFL.com. Why "unfortuantely"? Well, for one thing, the column lost a lot of its pinache, what with the league website barely promoting the column anywhere on its pages and not even linking to a full archive. But more importantly, by moving to NFL.com Easterbrook lost something so crucial to his genuine likability as a genius-turned-football writer: free reign.

See, Gregg Easterbrook is a brilliant political writer. He's a visiting fellow at the Brookings Institution. He writes for publications no football fan has ever heard of. Yet because he's an intelligent individual with a smart wit, as well as a big football fan, he succeeds in writing a fantastic football column every week. I like it when someone like him "lowers" himself to the die-hard sports world. TMQ is like George F. Will, only without the total nerdiness. Equal parts analysis and humor, research and snark, TMQ has always been a must-read for fans. Part of the fun is the varied spectrum of items covered in any given column. Nowhere else in the world will someone be able to intelligently and authoritatively comment on the space program and the weak-side blitz on the same page. And what other respected political journalist puts a "Cheerleader of the Week" in his columns? The point is that when you consider what TMQ is, it comes as no surprise that it also used to be the place to go for amusing commentary on NFL scandals and subplots.

But as soon as that column switched to the NFL's official site, that aspect of TMQ changed. I first noticed this in his Super Bowl XXXVIII column. Pats 32, Panthers 29. Of course, there was a major story that also occured during that game. At halftime, actually. An event that carried with it massive cultural, social, and political implications - for years to come, as it turned out - and it happened during the Super Bowl! I couldn't wait to read TMQ's take. But check the column for yourself. Neither the words Janet nor Jackson appear anywhere. Of course not. You can't write about something that embarassed the league on their own website. And he hasn't since. All negative stories became off-limits. Which I guess I understand, from the NFL's perspective, but still lament. Anybody who's reading TMQ already knows everything about the stories TMQ would comment on. So what harm is there in letting a rational commentator do his job?

Anyway, I bring this up today because I'm sure many, many people submitted some extremely talked-about cheerleaders for this week's "Cheerleader of the Week" honors. (OK, I was among the submitters.) For sure he'd have an amusing comment or two on the situation, as everyone from Tony Korneiser to Jay Leno have already contributed their two cents. As it turns out, no such luck. That's the downside of writing for the official website. You know he desperately wants to write something about it, but he can't. Hopefully his column will move again, and we'll get our true TMQ back.

Start Learning How to Spell His First Name

2005-11-08T09:36:00.000-05:00

Well, if after Rae Carruth got sentenced you were biding your time until the next athlete got charged with attempted murder (unless you count Ray Lewis), the wait is over. "Ugueth Urbina was arrested on a charge of attempted murder after he and a group of men allegedly attacked several employees at his family home using machetes and trying to set them on fire, police said Tuesday."

I'm going to rot in Hell for taking this angle, but what a crappy week to be a Philly sports fan.

Second Chance Department

2005-11-08T00:41:00.000-05:00

Sid Rosenberg has had his share of off-the-air problems. However, as someone who has been listening to him since his WNEW days, as well as someone who knows him personally, I'm thrilled to see that 790 The Ticket in Miami is giving him a chance to get back in the game. When he stays out of trouble, he's a great radio talent, and I hope he gets a chance to prove it again in the Sunshine State. (Sid co-hosted a Miami-based radio show years ago, "The Drive," with Scott Kaplan.)

From the article:

He said his abuses are under control. But asked if they are completely in his past, he said, "Anybody who says that is not being realistic. . . . I would hope so . . . I'm taking the right steps. I've learned there are certain people and places and things I can't surround myself with.''

Good luck, Sid. Many listeners and fans are still rooting for you.

Maybe They Can Give Him Dad's Old Cell

2005-11-07T12:05:00.000-05:00

Pete Rose Jr. took a gamble and lost. What are the odds?

Bad: "Pete Rose Jr... turned himself in to federal authorities Monday to face charges accusing him of distributing GBL, a drug sometimes used as a steroid alternative."

Worse: "Rose, 35, faces a maximum of 20 years in prison."

Worst: "Rose admitted that he received GBL... while a member of the Chattanooga Lookouts, the double-A affiliate of the Cincinnati Reds."

Double-A? And juicing couldn't get him further than that? Oh, wait... "Rose played most of his career in the minor leagues, but made it to the majors for 11 games with the Reds in 1997. Last season he played for the Long Island Ducks of the independent Atlantic League." My apologies.

The Results Are In

2005-11-07T07:16:00.000-05:00

Exactly how many times was Terrell Owens mentioned last night? Here's the official breakdown by reference (pronouns included) and announcer: Mike Patrick, Joe Theismann, Paul Maguire, and Suzy Kolber. Remember, I didn't count pre-taped features or when they were quoting someone else.

"Terrell Owens" - Patrick: 6 times; Theismann: 7 ; Maguire: 1 (almost made it all the way, he finally caved with 1:10 left in the game); Kolber: 6; Total mentions of "Terrell Owens": 20

"T.O." - Patrick: 6 times; Theismann: 1; Kolber: 12 (!, including about five in a 20-second span before the game); Total mentions of "T.O.": 19

"Terrell" - Maguire: 1 time (after the long Reggie Brown touchdown: "Terrell who?"); Kolber: 1; Total mentions of "Terrell": 2

"Owens" - Kolber: 1 time; Total mentions of "Owens": 1

Total mentions by name: 42
-------------------------
"He" - Patrick: 9 times; Theismann: 9; Maguire: 1; Kolber 4; Total mentions of Owens by saying "He": 23

"Him" - Theismann: 3 times; Maguire: 1; Kolber: 3; Total mentions of Owens by saying "Him": 7

"His" - Patrick: 1 time; Theismann: 3; Kolber: 3; Total mentions of Owens by saying "His": 7

Other - Patrick: 1 "The guy"; Theismann: 1 "This kid"; Total other mentions of Owens: 2

Total mentions using pronouns: 39
-------------------------
By announcer: Patrick 23, Theismann 24, Maguire 4, Kolber 30.

And when you add it all up, you get a number that actually makes a lot of sense, considering how ESPN tried every which way to mention him: Total references to Terrell Owens during last night's coverage of the Redskins/Eagles game: 81. 81 times! You're telling me they didn't plan this?

Oh, and just for good measure, Mike Patrick mentioned Tedy Bruschi. Just to remind you he played last Sunday, in case you missed it.

Place Your Bets...

2005-11-06T18:28:00.000-05:00

If for no other reason than simply to satisfy my own curiosity (and to maybe make a mini-statement about ESPN football coverage in the process), during tonight's Eagles-Redskins game (8:30 ET, ESPN) I will be documenting exactly how many times the announcers mention the name of a certain Eagles wide receiver who's been in the news lately. Point: How many times will announcers refer to someone not even playing in the game? And how many people will this cause to hit the mute button on their remotes? (Sadly, I cannot document the answer to that one.)

Two things inspired me to do this. One is this morning's "Sunday NFL Countdown" on ESPN. The show is two hours long. Say 30 minutes of that are commercials (and that's being generous). So you have 90 minutes of football coverage. From 11:00 to 11:20, Chris Berman and company talked about nothing but T.O. Later in the hour, there was a five-minute "on the field" demonstration of how the Eagles offense would function without #81. Then at 12:00, another 15 minutes. So 40 out of the 90 minutes of content this morning was dedicated to one loudmouth. Terrific NFL coverage, really.

The other was last week's Sunday night game between the Patriots and Bills, when every other player on the field was ignored because Tedy Bruschi was playing again. Nothing against Bruschi - in fact, I'm thrilled to see him back - but if you were watching the game, the story from the announcers was Bruschi Bruschi Bruschi*, and - oh! - by the way, there's also a football game going on. I'm expecting the same tonight, so, as the title entreats, place your bets. Bonus betting line: Which announcer says his name the most? Rules: Coverage starts as soon as Berman hands off from "Primetime" and goes until Mike Patrick sends it away to SportsCenter. Pre-taped features and interviews don't count. Using his name while quoting someone else doesn't count. Using "cute" references, like "#81," count.

*Since this blog did not exist at the time of last week's game, no official record of Bruschi mentions exists, though the number is believed to be around 793.

Get This Man Some Coffee

2005-11-06T17:58:00.000-05:00

I respect Sam Rosen an awful lot as an announcer (and not just because he responded kindly when I bumped into him at the Rangers-Devils game Thursday night). In his dual role as Rangers TV play-by-play man and as the leader of NFL on FOX's 3rd-line, the fall season keeps him quite busy. To wit: he was in MSG yesterday for Rangers-Devils; that game ended at close to 4:00 Eastern time. Now today he's in San Francisco, merely 2,909 miles away, calling the Giants game at 4:00 Eastern. (And my guess is he won't miss Sidney Crosby's Garden debut tomorrow night, and will reverse his journey tonight). At some point all this travelling was going to catch up to him. That point was at about 5:15 this afternoon, as this call (with Bill Maas) of a Jeff Feagles punt illustrates:

SR: Jeff Feagles, in his 280th consecutive game, 2nd longest streak in NHL history, just two behind the record holder, Jim Marshall. [Long pause] NFL, er, did I not say NFL?

BM: [Mumbles incoherently, sounded like "No, yes." Seriously. Symptomatic of his overall performance, but that's for another post.]

SR: Nick Greisen with the tackle on the return man, Rasheed Marshall... Did I say NHL?

BM: The National and the League were correct.

SR: Oh, Man. NFL. Sorry.

Let's just hope nobody tunes into OLN tomorrow night to hear "And that is Crosby's first of what will probably be many touchdowns in Madison Square Garden."

Those Big Numbers Can Get Confusing

2005-11-05T22:29:00.000-05:00

Heard this back-and-forth between play-by-play guy Chris Carrino and analyst Tim Capstraw during tonight's Nets game on WFAN:

CC: Clifford Robinson has now passed Hal Greer to move into 20th place all-time in minutes played in NBA history. [Long pause] To put that in perspective, only 19 players in NBA history have ever played more minutes than Cliff Robinson.

TC: Thanks for explaining that again Chris; if you had just said 20th place all-time, I wouldn't have been able to figure out how many people were ahead of him.

CC: Well, sometimes things sound differently when worded differently.

Too bad Capstraw said it playfully and not sarcastically. I would've loved to have heard Carrino's reaction to that.

Rangers 4, Devils 2

2005-11-04T07:59:00.000-05:00

Went to a hockey game last night for the first time in a couple of years. Bonus: It was Rangers vs. Devils. I can't believe I forgot how enjoyable hockey is when you're at the game. The game pace seems quicker, you could actually see things that are going on away from the puck, and the genuine passion of the die-hard fans is probably unmatched by fans at any other sport.

I'll admit I haven't been to that many games over the years, but I'll say this: I can't remember any Ranger in my lifetime - with the exception of Wayne Gretzky, but that was for historic purposes - that ever generated as much excitement when he's on the ice as Jaromir Jagr. After he scored his first goal of the night (league-leading 13th, by the way), every time he put skate to ice the place was different. Rangers fans were excited, Devils fans a bit anxious (the crowd was about 60-40 Devils). At 9:22 in the 2nd, he showed why. With the Rangers up 2-1, Jagr had the puck behind the net. And he held it there, unchallenged, for about 20 seconds. Nobody attacked the puck. Rangers fans were screaming in anticipation, Devils fans pleading to put a man on him. The patience paid off; he finally flicked it to Michael Nylander, who banged home his second goal of the night. It was a thing of beauty. Just for good measure, Jagr added an empty-netter as well.

I think the new rule changes are helping him, and I'm sure new coach Tom Renney is as well. But it's about time the Rangers are seeing the kind of player Jagr had been and could be. Like I said earlier, he creates excitement, not to mention goals. Don't think it's not being noticed, even by casual fans like me.

Cutting Down the Nets

2005-11-03T14:56:00.000-05:00

Though I'm a fan of the duo, I don't find it particularly enjoyable when Mike and the Mad Dog talk down to, interrupt, patronize, and generally abuse callers (with some exceptions, of course). However, I find it highly entertaining when a high-ranking officer of a local sports franchise receives the same treatment. Past victims include Jay Cross, Brian Cashman, Jim Duquette, and Fred Wilpon. Today's victim was new Nets CEO Brett Yormark, a guest on the show today for the second straight day, a M&MD rarity. Suffice it to say that yesterday's appearance (in person at Continental Arena) went a bit better for Mr. Yormark, who has been brought in to, among other things, actually sell some tickets. He promoted various things yesterday, including the fact that Opening Night had sold out in Jersey for the first time in years. All good. Well, not so much, you see. Apparently the Nets didn't "sell out," as the place had a few thousand empty seats. (Semantics is key here - Yormark maintains selling all the tickets constitutes a sellout; Francesa feels that many empty seats makes calling it a sellout insulting.) Why this bothered Mike as much as it did is anyone's guess. (Mine is that it got him from 1 to 3 on an otherwise boring day with no guests.) Anyway, after abusing Yormark for more than an hour, the poor guy came on to discuss the issue. He got pounded. I'd say deservedly so, as I have in the past with Duquette, Cross, et al. except I don't think issuing a press release touting a maybe-they-did-maybe-they-didn't sellout falls under the category of high crimes and misdemeanors. (Charging 50 dollars to be on a season ticket waiting list does.)

I doubt WFAN will post the interview to its site; if they do, it'll be here.

Update: They posted it. Direct link here.

Marvin Lewis Channels Martin Luther

2005-11-02T15:17:00.000-05:00

I like Marvin Lewis, but why did he have to go and ruin a good thing?

Anybody's who's watched SportsCenter since the Bengals season opener knows about Chad Johnson's famous cornerback checklist, the fantastic piece of paper on his locker which tells him (and the rest of the ESPN-watching world) who he's taking on that week.

Well, the list is no longer. Marvelous Marv took town the list this morning and replaced it with his own, less fun list, "Did 85 do everything he could to lead His Team to Victory 11-6-05." Not quite as catchy.

Though disappointed at first, it seems the man of a thousand dances has gotten over it. I'm sure this will spawn some new antics.

Why Me

2005-11-02T15:00:00.000-05:00

The most important quesiton of all. (Side point: I remember getting a Sports Illustrated in January of '94 with Nancy Kerrigan on the cover. The photograph was taken just after she had been assaulted. If I remember correctly, the words on the cover were "Why Me? Why Now? Why?" If I go ahead and publish this post with the title as is, my first three post titles will echo her sentiments, word for word. Well, I don't know of anybody who would benefit from having my knee taken out of commision, so I guess I'll take my chances and leave the title alone.)

Update: Here's the aforementioned cover. If you find it unusual that I remember a specific cover from 11 1/2 years ago, fear not. I was a relatively new subscriber at the time and cherished every issue. I can still tell you the first 30 or so covers I got.

Anyway, Why me? Well, for starters I've been following sports and media my entire life. Over the years the two interests melded and now I have a keen interest in the sports media as well. Not surprisingly, I'm a media studies major, a journalism minor, and intend to pursue a career in media. So far, the only thing of note on my resume is an internship at a top sports radio station. So I go that going for me... which is nice.

As the blog's URL and title indicate, I like to think of myself as a student of The Game. No specific sport is indicated, and though you can't see it, I capitalized "The." So it's a metaphor. For what? For whatever you understand it to mean. Yes, it's incredibly pompous. It's perfect.

Why Now

2005-11-01T19:39:00.000-05:00

Well, I've always been a fan of starting things off at natural starting points. The first of the month seems like as good a starting point as any for this new venture.

On a broader scale, however, now is a good time because I seem to have the time. I'm a college student - enough said. As this blog will probably never reach a point of any significance (subjective term, obvously, but let's be serious here) or readership, its existence will purely depend on whether or not I have the time to dedicate to it.

Why

2005-11-01T17:50:00.000-05:00

Why not.

Because everyone and his brother, sister, and ferret has one. Because as a student of journalism, it's better to be an insider looking around than an outsider looking in. Because if someone spends just a few minutes wasting his time reading this, then the devilishly cyclical nature of the blogosphere will have been realized, and my mission will have been completed.

Oh yeah, and that old staple: Because.