Never Dull When Dennis Is in the House

In-studio guests rarely appear on WFAN. That's fine; after all, it is radio. It should be noted, though, that approximately 100 times out of 100, the in-studio guest is there to promote something. The philosophy is simple, if slightly irrational: "well, ordinarily we wouldn't have this person on the show, he's not really relevant to sports anymore and he only wants to promote his new book/organization, but if he's willing to appear in studio, book him!" Granted, sometimes it's worth it because of the quality of the guest: Dick Enberg, Oscar Robertson, Freddy Adu. But more often than not, it's shameless on the part of the station. Yesterday was the best example I've seen in quite some time, when Dennis Rodman spent a few minutes with Joe Benigno. (I'm sure his agent was hoping for Mike and Chris, but they would never take him.) The 27 minutes of content that followed were bizarre, to say the least. Not to mention quite vulgar and vaguely racist. WFAN should be taken to task for lowering themselves this much; 27 minutes of Benigno Jet-ranting would have been more acceptable to listeners than this wack-job plugging his book. Anyway, in case you want to listen for yourself, the interview is here. If you don't have time and just want to know what he said, here are the top ten quotes:

"I think 1 out of 10 people in the world have met Dennis Rodman and partied with Dennis Rodman and they would tell you the one thing about me - I'm very, very good."

"I don't need a relationship with David Stern. I made too much money for the NBA. I don't need a relationship with anybody. So just have a good time baby."

(On playing again) "I don't need to get 20 rebounds. All I got to do is sit on the bench and I'll fill the stands. How bout that? I'll be way better than the guys on the bench right now."

"A lot of NBA teams don't want Dennis Rodman, just because I'm... I'll call myself too famous. Too famous. I don't need to be in this game anymore because I'm too famous for this game. I'm too big for this game."

"If you gave me a contract today, the minimum's what? Half a million, if that? They can take the money and shove it up their ass. I just go play just for the hell of it."

(To Benigno): "Are You Jewish? Just making sure. [Benigno: What's wrong with being Jewish? It's a good thing!] It's a good thing. All black guys need a Jew."

Note: This comment was so random and confusing, I'm Jewish and I'm not even sure if I should be offended.

(On a suggested boxing match between himself and Charles Barkley): That fatass did not want to box me for 3 rounds, they were gonna pay us a million dollars. I said, 'you know what Charles, it ain't about the money, they want to see us kick each other's ass. How bout that?' And all of a sudden Jose Canseco got in the picture, I said, 'all right, great. Lemme kick his ass.' That's kinda cool."

(On playing for Utah): "There ain't no money in the world gettin me back in the Mormon area."

(On athletes' "bad boy" image): "Terell Owens right now, dude I can't believe that one. That's kind of wack. I like Terrell Owens, I know Terrell real good, it's like oooooooh, guy, what is really going on right now."

Note: If Dennis Rodman is calling an action of yours, "kind of wack," it's time to re-evaluate things.

And to top it all off...

"I don't screw anything that's ugly."
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Be sure to listen tomorrow when Tom Cruise will be in studio discussing psychiatry with Joe at 11:30.